marathon affection

2010-06-04T20:15:00.003+08:00

what is real

June 4th- Not exactly the day to pop champagne.

I don't want to feel like this, really. It's the feeling of urge but bounded AT THE SAME TIME. Can't I just do whatever I want to do and not be judged with what I do? Can't I can't I?

I'm switching to livejournal.

How do you call this.. This feeling?

Right. this girl-you're-so-fucked-up-thanks-to-mr.douchebag?

It's called affection, smarty pants.

2010-06-03T11:46:00.002+08:00

I took this picture few years back. And it still never fails to tell me why I love photography so much.
I think it was on Valentine's day that I was given this rose. I mean yah which senstitive and nice person would randomly give people roses on any other odd day? then obviously the rose was dying and all, so I took a snapshot of it and.. this rose has been with me ever since?
Okay I'm going to print this out. You know what? I'm going to print alll my good photos out and paste it on my wall!
Then mumsie and daddykins would think
"yeahhh, mavis really likes photography! let's buy her a DSLR!"

How does that sounds?? HAHA.
Either that,
they might just probably yell to me about how will my photos spoil the wall paint. :/

I really could use some extra cash now.
Date with ballet girlfriends t'day! Can't wait can't wait!

It is so awesome 'cuz though we don't have lessons anymore, we're stilling hanging out like the usual (:

YESSSS MY BLUEBLACK IN MY TOE IS MOVING!

2010-06-01T22:02:00.002+08:00

so it's ob-ve-ious-lee

have you been free lately?

because i think i need to borrow some time.

Many a times I have told myself,

"choose the boy right, choose the boy right."

but love, you just write such pretty words, i just can't help but get drawn into you.

Love's an excuse to get hurt,

and to hurt.

Do you like to hurt?

"I do"

Then hurt me.

2010-05-31T20:33:00.003+08:00

Life can't be just full of fondant pastries and croissants.

There are instances when you just keep falling and falling and falling.

I especially hate this incessant feeling of fall. You know that it would keep going and no one would be down at the floor holding up his hands ready to catch you safely.

I always thought that once you be nice, good things would come to you, you will meet good friends. I always thought that way.

So, I came out of that fucking mean shell inside me and tried to be nice to everyone. I guess it didn't really work to my favour.

You, can be so.. frustrating you know? I tried being nice, tried getting on the neutral side. But did you see this? Did you see all these shit? Hell no.

What did you do instead? Roll your fuckin' eyes at me? Roll?

Nah, rolling your eyes at me ain't that much of a big thing.

Thinking that you were my friend WAS.

To think I thought that you were a little insecure and would never ever try to gossip about people because you know how it feels. NO SHIT, YOU HAVE NOT LEARNT YOUR LESSON.

But, I really got to thank you. A lot. Now I know who are my FRIENDS and who aren't. I'm not going to entertain you and your funny little tricks up against me anymore because once you hit me again once more,

my strings would break and i'd not be very nice after all.

And dear, that doesn't seem so far from now.

NOT.VERY.FAR.

2010-05-29T00:14:00.013+08:00

un-frog-ettable

25th may (tues):

went out with sabby, ed and huiling for lunch. Ohhh it was a bad face day 'cuz monday I had facial so my face was all red and tomato-ish.

Wind Shadow was the MOST boring dance ever. First dance performance which I SLEPT.

The thing is, I love dance. And imagine how boring it was when a dance lover sleeps during a dance performance. Okay, i just cannot appreciate such abstract performances.

To complicated for my human mind.

At first i was like "what?" then i was like "uhh..." then i went to "zzzz"

THAT BAD.

the most forward looking was the aftermath, when all of us went to eat!

26th may (wed):

had phototaking in school! I really hope, cross my fingers my face is not BAD in the photos. hahahah.

dance.

dindin with family at orchard.

damn funny desmond was sleeping and debs shocked him.

LOOK AT HIS EPIC FACE. haha.

dance mates gave a birthday cake!! damn cute damn cute! I couldn't bear to eat it!

but.. i did in the end. (:

we went to this steamboat place cuz mumsie had reallllly bad cough.

so yeah. soup-ish place!

awww i love my parents :)

You took me for granted. :(

28th may(friday):

awesome clique celebrated my birthday! loved it loved it!

OMG okay they made me this board, which has a picture of me and MY UGLY DOUBLE CHIN!

hahahha! don't judge me.

so! they made me walk around (IN MY HEELS) marina sqaure and ask random people to sign on my board! HAHAHAHA. Okay one of those people is this guy: quite hot (:

good times good times (:

dindin at NYNY

happy birthday, mavis.

you're lucky to have friends like these.

29th may (sat):

DANCE AT BUKIT TIMAH!

and yes! I finally found Hatched! 'am so going to eat there with my dance peeps soon! HAHAHAHA.

Then after dance, went out with max!

ahh... overall? This week was good... very good.

Thank you God! for everything! amen.

2010-05-24T23:40:00.005+08:00

midnight seventeen

out with shiqi to stalk her LZX. hahaha.

4 fingers was good! though i ate the fries only.

we were damn damn far away from him but i still managed to take a noisy photo of him! (: blur but, still fits.

shiqi was asking the waiter:

"how big do you think my boobs are?"

which explains her right hand's action.

epic.

OMG. this is weird/ticklish/a good experience/just weird

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASSY! :D

we surprised her at midnight and she was SHOCKED, like literally. (: It feels good, seeing your best friend happy. It'll somehow make you happy as well. Auntie managed to convince daddykins to allow me to stayover at Jassy's place! :D BEST NIGHT EVER.

JAS, I hope you had a great time last night! ILUBCHEWS DEEP DEEP!

yesterday was a veh good day, 'cuz i spent the whole day with my 2 best friends. (:

okaybye.

2010-05-21T00:43:00.003+08:00

schadenfreude

to my surprise, i'm not really thrilled that my mid-years is over?

someday, there will be a point that "i'll do better next time." cease to exist,

and that day doesn't seem to be far from now.

Like i've said, I'm pretty alright with solitary. Actually, I'm in love with it.

Option 1: rent movies and watch at home

Option 2: shop around town

just me, myself and i.

/edited

it's 8pm and i'm going to meet Huiling soon! Au'some much??

I can finally paint my nails since I'll have like

friday, saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday,

5 days of no school! :D

Am supposed to stay over in school tonight. Not with the permission of the school, that is. (:

doing so soon with my lovabees once school reopens. It would be swell because for once, I know that I would not be late for school. hahahaha.

2010-05-18T23:14:00.002+08:00

nostalgia

I flipped through the many pages of my Happy House photo album,

meant for photos but apparently at that time, I did not take photos but neoprints instead.

It used to be the 'in' thing, aye? I remember I used to burn my pockets just because of these little photos. Now to look at what I was in the past, I'm quite happy things changed this way.

HAHAHA. I looked like shit when I was young (not that I'm not young now)

Brings me back to those times... good times good times (:

I had center parting when I was like, what? Secondary 1 or something?

AND, I used to think I was cool. Like, literally,

"I'm cooler than y'all, bitches!"

funny, I don't think I'm cool now.

Actually right, I like being a little out-of-the-way.

Like not being the typical girl.

I like to snort when I laugh. It's funny. haha. And I laugh at myself for doing that.

Find me weird but yeah, deal with it.

2010-05-15T18:30:00.006+08:00

famous last words

Would you ever cut your heart out just so that you will never love again?

I don't know why that by first instinct, people talk to someone just because she's pretty. It's like, choosing your cereal by colour and not by taste.

With fading lights that lead us past the lives we've destroyed.

Don't search for an excuse, boy. It's already standing here.

2010-05-13T21:27:00.007+08:00

blastoff, rocketboy

Mumsie day, Angel's baptism and Chicago. (:

Good day good day.

Angel was darn cute, i swear! It's no doubt where she got her cuteness from. hahaha.

i have no shame.

Drool and double chin, what could be better?! :D

look look! hahah. When father was blessing her, she was praying! look at her hands! omg cute much?! And look and jiejie and Charmaine jiejie glimpsing from afar.

mum and daughter (:

clearly shows that

one: uncle leslie sucks at carrying babies

two: Angel doesn't seem to like uncle leslie. And

Three: they're pretty much alike; both cutely opening their mouths. (:

THIS CUTE BOY! HAHAH.

he totally has the hair of justin bieber.

uncle leslie and his gay pink bag.

So, i went to watch Chicago with Desmond the other day.

Thanks so much for the treat, des. (:

IT WAS A BLAST.

The dance, the singing, spectacular!!

So my exam's on Monday and I have yet to fully memorise my geography books or start with anything close. I'm just going to bank on 3 subjects: Geography, math and physics and flunk the rest. Besides, it is just mid-years. Right?

Okay bad supposition bad supposition. I can definitely not think this way. I cannot afford to retain and waste another year. Sigh, if only studying was like shopping and shopping was that studying. I'd save heck a ton of money and save so much damn time. Okay, then we wouldn't love shopping as much already, aye?

Random thought. You know actually, I'm pretty alright with solitary. I don't see anything embarrassing or wrong with it. In fact, I kind of like it in a way. I like being, me. Because you know sometimes when you're with people or in a crowd, tendency for you to act the way you're not is plausible. But when you're alone, things get different. Solitary really shows who the hell you are inside. It shows me. Well, in my context.

2010-05-09T15:14:00.002+08:00

I knew i wouldn't forget you

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MUMSIE!

i wonder if you ever know my blog exists. I probably think you do because you'll probably be trying to stalk and see what the hell have i been doing.

Oh well I still love you, anyway (:

Sissy and I bought mumsie a Kate Spade bag(shipping in soon) and made her a book mark for the many many books on God and a card. I love it when my daddy gets jealous when we treat our mumsie oh-so-nice on mother's day and fairly so on daddy's day. HAHAH. Okay we do treat him nice.

MET CASS AND HWEEMAY TODAY! For prolly an hour?

Though I thought the Holy Innocents High was full of crap,

the friendships forged and the memories framed were not.

so much to talk about, so little time. I WANNA MEET THEM AGAIN! (:

ANGEL'S BAPTISM SOON!

CHICAGO TONIGHT! (:

okay bye.

2010-05-07T22:38:00.002+08:00

mirror man

TGIF. Exam's nearing and seriously, a friday would be a monday and every other day would be the same mundane routine- study.

Mid years seem so much like O levels. I wonder how A levels would be like. Funny, how every stage we pass; from primary to secondary and to JC, the years we spend in each school gets shorter and shorter. But the things we learn and study gets bigger and bigger.

Is it just me or the whole system is implying that we, students should establish a thing called 'fast learning'. I beg to differ.

This friday have not been all well for me. I hate this friday. I hate it.

From a quarrel to a little grasp of how Africans survive destitution to just the whole thing of, this.

paper people, paper life, paper me.

I've read this book recently and it amazingly exposed me

and cracked my chest open, seemingly not in a bad way.

By just looking at you through this weak anonymity,

I feel you, at least a little.

Maybe lie to myself that your smile on that picture is for me

and just me only.

You, sucked me into this blackhole.

no, no. it's not a bad thing.

You were the bread crumbs, and i followed the trail.

2010-05-06T00:09:00.003+08:00

AND YOU SHALL GO BACK TO THE PAPER TOWNS

AND NEVER COME BACK

2010-05-03T22:19:00.003+08:00

do you remember

you know, juno is one of the few things that never fails to cheer me up.

I rant to her, i hug her, i kiss her, i smile at her.

and she just.. she just be juno back. Yes i used her name as a verb.

maybe that's the whole thing,

some things are better left untold and unsaid.

maybe that's the whole thing,

that i love juno so much.

she stands by me, imperceptibly, without sound.

IRONMAN

Family said that we're supposed to watch it together but I highly doubt it because my parents are one of those people that leaving their desk would probably, hypothetically, leaving their soul kinda thing.

I'm not saying we never have family days.

We do, but not as often as we go for weekly mass.

Light, the visible reminder of Invisible Light.

2010-05-02T23:07:00.002+08:00

My perspectives and yours are world's apart. I know you care, I know you love me.

But hey, to me. You're breathing down my neck, you're trapping me in this pound.

Let's just say, you don't trust me and I'm just, to run out of a polite reason,

a fucking thorn in your life.

I'm going to prove it to you that I know what I'm doing.

And don't say, "i'm glad you're doing this for yourself."

because you bloody know deep inside,

i'm doing this for you and for you alone.

If i had a choice, i'd make my own mistakes, and screw up my own life.

my life is for me to decide, and not yours.

A levels marks the end of my choice and I patently know that.

I can't study at home, so I go out to study.

You say I don't study at home.

So I study at home and end up not getting anything into my head.

You say I'm not studying hard enough.

I think the idea of me studying so hard is hypothetically enough to cut diamonds.

What more do you want from me.

I tell you what i want but do you give it to me?

no.

This just makes me more frustrated than I already am.

Photography is what I love and I'm going to go any means to get what I want.

You're not going to stop me.

You're my parents for God's sake.

You understand me? No. Like you ever did.

I love you a lot. But, I need not need to love you now.

2010-05-01T23:17:00.002+08:00

Photobooth

xm came over to my crib t'day! He did his PI and I did my math.

Funny, how i can do summation in the tutorials but not in the actual test?

it's damn frustrating when you can't get the answer right!

frolick-ed with my au'some charis.

And now i'm home, trying to finish my PI.

No shit, it's due Tuesday.

All i have is my first draft. (: yay me!

okay i love my legs then, my i hate my legs now. I should just quit dancing and stop my legs from growing chunky muscles.

dude, i look like an overgrown pear.......

A PEAR!!

2010-04-29T20:59:00.002+08:00

shut the door to the moon

and let the birds gather

play no more with the fool

and let the souls wander

pretty moon last night. I just had to run out barefooted to take a shot of this.

don't you ever feel like steaming the moon and eating it?

2010-04-27T23:17:00.002+08:00

Hey, soul sister

I feel chirpy today.

Though tonight there is a mozzie party in my house.

The flies were literally desperate for the lights in my school. And it was bloody annoying because i think one flew into my hair and got stuck. Okay maybe i was paranoid, i don't know.

Studying with xm and jz kinda worked out, though it was like only a few hours. I finally know something about summation. You know.. the big E thing.

ohmyfreshhell dance audition tomorrow. cross your fingers, people. okay, i think you gotta cross your toes too. hahah. keeeeding.

YAY! I got into the taiwan dance thing! haha. obviously. If i didn't i think would either be/have

1) a fucking bad dancer

2) a super sucky attitude

or..

yeah, i would be

3) a fucking bad dancer.

ah gosh mavmav, you're saying wayy too many profanities.

"hey hey! look this is Cellulite Sally!"

2010-04-26T21:48:00.002+08:00

whataya want from me

I love today. I hated yesterday, loved it when I was with Shiqi. But not when I quarreled with daddy. Alright, It's true when christians say

"when God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better"

This came so naturally and so on time, Shiqi sent me this just now. She knows me so well :)

I wanted to say something but.. forget it. I think I'll just keep it to myself and some of my bestest friends.

Best joke ever:

I was in the bus, it was from the last station (airport) to the first station (Hougang interchange) So, I had to sleep right? Okay, so i slept. slept slept slept.

The bus was prolly around Sengkang, I woke up.

I rubbed my eyes, looked around and saw this woman in front of me who looked a lot like my aunt. I looked really carefully. Gosh her face really looked like ah ee!

So, I bent forward and said, "ah ee."

i thought, "she didn't hear." So, again.

"ah ee." "ah ee."

I thought to myself again, "i bet she didn't hear."

So i kinda tap/nudged her. "AH EE."

She turned back and said in chinese,

"GAN MA!"

ohmyfreshhell.

I rubbed my eyes again and actually realised she's not my ah ee.

HAHA.

Then i was like, "omg so sorry!!"

then i went back to 'sleep'.

HAHA. okay.

2010-04-23T12:27:00.002+08:00

it's over

prolly around a month ago, I was still fretting about the ballet incident.

Thinking to myself that my ballet exam is screwed, so screwed.

And now, seemingly like just a week ago, I finished my ballet exam.

A month worth of hardship, all mustered into that hour of scrutiny. If were not for Miss penny, I don't know if this could ever be achieved.

The 10 of us bought her a Calvin Klein bag and some flowers in a way to show our utmost appreciation. Miss penny was so touched she teared. I felt.. happy.

I guess the simplest words are the only terms that could actually convey the best of your emotions. 'cuz when you're at that point, how you really feel is that general, and that straightforward as well.

During the exam, I thought of the people who called, texted and said good luck to me through facebook. You don't know how much these means when the anxiety just numbs your heart and all you need is a little encouragement from anyone.

And as i couldn't really multi-task, i did a couple of mistakes. hahaha.

omg lunch with ballet chums soon! (:

2010-04-18T23:18:00.002+08:00

just you and me

This, i gotta admit. I'd love to have you as my son.

I wonder if Pixar saw this boy and said,

"i shall draw him in Up!"

I wanna be drawn too. :( Pixar will see me and say,

"i shall draw this dinosaur in Jurassic Park!"

I like it how everything looks good when you're in a good mood.

2010-04-17T22:38:00.003+08:00

I took into many considerations of killing people; taking a knife in hand and just stab my victim straight in the heart. I yank out the knife and stab it back straight on spot. Again, and again.

A good person, a bad person.

Is there a prerequisite of this judgement?

Like I've said before, we're so caught up in parading who's right and wrong, we don't even discern our own mistakes.

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others, difficult is to realise your own.

Our conceited disposition takes on a toll.

I need a break.

formspring.me

2010-04-17T20:12:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/afishinariver

2010-04-17T14:57:00.005+08:00

I bet it was this bird who peed on Sabby's locker. haha.

I am so not looking forward to next friday, which happens to be my ballet exam. Though I'm more prepared before Miss Gina left, i still can't help but feel I am not ready for this exam. Yes, I know my work but I don't know my work that well.

But well I'm am so looking forward to the EAT after the ballet exam :) Finally, some food I need not be conscious about. I was so happy I dropped to 41 from 42. But well, I'm back to 42.

3 weeks ago: 39kg

Now: 42kg.

I TOLD YOU I'LL GAIN MORE WEIGHT.

Last week i was 41 lah!

whatever fat then fat lah! I pui= cute.

Nice right nice right?

I'm dancing to this song. (:

THOUGH it will not be good as this, I LOVE IT.

Actually, the only time I get my mind off things would be dance.

I keep my head in the choreo and I forget all the screwed up things I have in my life.

Maybe that is why I love dancing so much, it keeps me unencumbered by.

2010-04-15T21:25:00.002+08:00

whoever said that with a bad day comes a good day, damn you are right.

I feel so happy today, i'm beyond elucidating my expression in words! Good weather, good friends, good happenings, what more could i ask for? All i just hope that these goodness would just last a little while more for me to bask in it.

Today was an exceptionally odd and strange day. I went out with my wonderful lover today to town. Okay our purpose of going town is to head down to HMV and buy my lover's boyfriend's cd. I know right, she's cheating on me. :(

So, we headed down to town (saw Brandon Bimbz Wong on the way) and we found out there's no HMV in Shaw House! So, we went to Borders to take a look at some pretty Paperchase things yada yada. I bought a pretty cute small notebook! One more notebook to my collection!

Then we headed to Cityhall instead 'cuz we were far too lazy to take the train to somerset (?)

How odd are we.

And then we finally reached HMV and we saw that the price of my lover's boyfriend's CD is soo much more expensive than the Hougang Mall's one.

SOOOO, we went back to hougang mall.

All in all, we went to town for nothing.

Okay it doesn't stop here. When we were heading home, this odd(or might i say licentious couple- china woman and an old man) came up to us to help them translate the english letter to chinese.

What was inside the letter was "your wife was caught for improper behaviour... in geylang"

inside i was thinking,

"slut."

I wonder if China Woman's husband knows about it 'cuz you know, they can't read english.

hahah. I love going out with my best friend.

I'm sorry but,

it's either you like me or, to run out of a polite excuse, fuck off

we're no longer buddies anymore.

2010-04-12T22:14:00.010+08:00

glue shirts and elastic skirts

Went out with my awesome work pepos on satty! Thank god my work life in USS was great and I made super kewl flengs like them. Okay life in USS for great 'cuz I was still on training and I could roam wherever and whenever? After training, I got into SRJC and I quit. I guess I left before the hard life came crashing in aye?

Angel, sweet angel

Headed to dindin with my family and look at cuteeeee Angel! Goodness I seriously felt like sqqqqqquueeeezinggg her face man, no shit.

She's damn cute marns! She have my genes. Good job, mav. Good job (:

It's a pepper shaker. It's says "moomy spices up our lives"

Hahahah so cute right! Godpa did it you know! Damn cute. I shall ask daddykins to do such a thing for mumsie one day.

Talking about my parents. Sigh, I can't really say it out here but, I hope everything turns alright and the operation would go well.

Kitkat!!!

Frolick

frolick-ed at Sunday with my au'some cousin and Sherilyn. All 3 of us were the ones called out by Miss Gina. HAHA.

"MAVIS ONG! SHERILYN TAN! CHARIS KOH! HOW LONG HAVE I NOT SEEN YOU IN BALLET!"

and here we are.

cute kid beside us

damn, sure does she have a high forehead.

They said people with high foreheads are smart. This kid is going to be einstein man!

So i've been thinking a lot lately. And to make things even better, i'm screwing up my own life. How aware and alert i may be, i simply do not have the slightest care that these 1 1/2 year would actually determine my future. I said one too many times, "i'll not skip after this time."

ferq you, mavis benedict ong. I'm skipping lessons and drinking my life away. I have no qualms about my consequence but i still do it anyway. There's a quota for skipping lessons, and mind you, mavis ong, your numbers are going up and you're reaching this quota soon. Real soon.

Till that breaking point, you're still safe. But not for long.

The lightning signal thingy cancelled the soccer game today. AND YAY! au'some cousin and shiqi came over to my school to watch the match! Had dindin with shiqi and home. I love dindin w my bestfriend, really. Everything flows out and it flows out well. Though we rarely meet, I still can talk to her like we've just met yesterday.

It isn't about the meet, isn't it?

Best friends isn't just about getting together the whole damn time. It's more about knowing each other despite the circumstances.

So i've been thinking a lot lately.

We, humans will all live in convalescence and eventually, no one dies actually.

2010-04-08T23:01:00.004+08:00

absolute

i love my colour pencils that i bought tgt with huiling! It makes me happy. Okay not really.

Seriously, life sucks eh? The boys you want, never here. The boys you do not want, always here.

x: have boyfriend or not

me: no i don't.

x: very good, i very happy. when ur brithday's day

me: happy? for? 27 may.

x: because u dun have boyfriend o haha wat r u doing

me: if you're trying to hit on me, it's not working.

x: no la, no boyfriend mean i have chance lo, u knw le ma

firstly, no i don't know.

secondly, what's with your fucking sentence structure?!?!

"when ur brithday's day."

Oh no. I don't know when my brithday's day.

I only know when's my birthday, sorry.

And thirdly, you have an ugly name.

ferq you.

Okay enough of boys. I went to (uh.. lunch) (place: unknown) with huiling, marican and sarah today. I know I can't help it but say, THE FOOD WAS GOOD. I'm not being bias. It really was you can ask sarah!!

my new goal: Pixie lott's legs. :D OMG. TO DIE FOR.

Oh, i ditched my diet plan. The day i planned my diet didn't really work out to plan. I was so happy that i skipped Fatty Yoshinoya or whatever with my loves, noooooo. Mum HAD to come back with chompchomp food!

You don't want to know.. what i went through..

p.s/ I changed my picture! Yes, those are my fat legs. Deal.with.it.

2010-04-06T21:44:00.004+08:00

fool you marns

okay, since i did not manage to prank Leonard the other time, I did it today! Together along with my fellow prankers, we substituted the white oreo part with...

TOOTHPASTE!

hahah. Yes, he was stupid enough but he spat it out. Then Brenna was gullible enough to think this odd oreo was the Japanese version, so she took a bite. HAHA.

PUNK'D.

Egg Sunday

By the way, I became Meaty(?) the Cat at 6.

HELL YEAH! my threadless tees came in today!!!!!!!!!! BEST DAY EVA.

It's like best day FOR JOSHUA KK and it's best day for ME too! I can't wait to show it off to threadless lovers! hahahhahaha. Threadless, checked. Now left the other spree my sissy and i ordered online. Taking soooo long marns. :(

I'm nude no more!

There are some days right that i... just feel like walking around with my bra and undies only. Like, free from these clothes man. Ironically, how much i like to walk around with my bra and undies, i never wore a bikini out to the beach before. o.o I'm so scared like the knot would suddenly get loose and then FREE SHOW(actually, got no show to show lah haha)

I had a nightmare like that once.

HOH-RI-BLE.

2010-04-04T21:01:00.002+08:00

secret stassh

HAPPY EASTER SUNDAY!

my easter was good. see the egg up there? It's a ballerina egg! (doh)

The ballerina would represents mua and the egg represents.. an egg. Hmm :/

I got juno to pose with the egg!

She totally wanted to eat it, no doubt.

Awwwww. Perfect. She looks like she's smiling, aye?

C'mon man, anyone anyone! Come to my house so that I can drag you to walk Juno with me. I can't walk Juno myself because she'll walk me instead of me walking her. :( ANYONE! I want to be a good owner so quick come to my house. Okay not anyone, someone who's strong. Stronger than Juno, that is. Gosh she's a monster.

I reckon the whole, "the dog emulates the owner" statement is soooo not true.

Juno = me? no.

I'm not crazy, greedy, destructive like Juno Ong.

On the contrary, i didn't eat any egg today, for the record.

Today was a vehveh busy day; Ballet, church then udders.

I love busy days! It makes me feell... busy. haha.

Today is also Slut Day, by the way. Somehow, i look like a slut today.

A veh ugly slut.

Okay is it just me or my self esteem has been reeeeally low these days. :/

Inferiority complex much? Much.

Saw loads of my school people today at Novena. :/ What's with the small singapore man.

I can't wait to go back to our secret stash, huiling! love~

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you

2010-04-03T23:06:00.003+08:00

what's crackin' lackin'

Sinful, yes i know. Pleasure, yes i know.

Nothing beats eating cheese with crackers on a cool serene night.

Not the widest spread but it will do.

I feel like having another pack already! Gosh i'm such a glutton.

But i like being a glutton. (:

Finally, a good hearty chat with my 3 girlies yesterday. We have not been entirely close this year at all. But yesterday was goodgood! 'cuz it's Good Friday. haha. Okay, Good Friday should be a day of mourning. But I just can't help knowing that Jesus will rise up on Easter Sunday and bring happiness to all!!!!!

I looked like an wardrobe malfunctioned alien last week.

I had all my hair tied up (ballet) and I wore my PJ shorts(I woke up half an hour before ballet started, I HAD TO wear it out) out. It doesn't ends here, my ballet tights has this bigggg tear around my inner thigh (explicccccit). My mum so happen to call and said

"let's go grocery shopping!!"

I walked around Fairprice looking like a wardrobe malfunctioned egghead alien for prolly 2 hours. I saw a cute guy :(

On the brighter note, I bought all my sinful snacks that I finished already! :D

My home is my food shed. LOVE!

my sister said my head is so small,

it just can't be a head

I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

2010-04-01T21:22:00.002+08:00

skinny fat

Akashi-ed the other day. The cod was fab, literally. It's because of these indulges I have been gaining weight. Partly also due to me binging recently, whenever I see food, i eat. I mistook the sponge for washing dishes as a piece of sponge cake the other day. Don't judge me. I didn't have my glasses. Same difference? Sponge = sponge cake. There.

2 weeks ago: 39kg

Now: 41.5kg

somebody kill me

I've become a grotesque being that drowned herself in the world of food. Shit I can't help it! I feel a little odd today. For the record, I didn't eat egg today. So happens I did not eat in the canteen; means no egg. So happens I did not eat at home today; means no egg, again. Maybe that is why i feel so odd now. I have no qualms about me gaining prolly another pound or two in the following week. Watch me get fat. People should hold up a competition-

"The Best Skinny Fat Eater"

You are skinny(technically) but you eat like you are fat(hypothetically)

No shit, my GP teacher, the cute panda I mentioned about, scolded me for eating in class today, coincidentally "Hello Panda". I wonder if you get the joke :/ He said he'd deduct 2 marks from my GP essay. Fuck you.

I hope this weight thing is April's Fool from God to me.

haha, good joke God. Good Friday's tomorrow.

2010-03-30T23:50:00.002+08:00

Marionette by Expression Crew ♥

i'd kill to dance like that, literally.

2010-03-30T22:09:00.002+08:00

Once upon time, I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye. We caught onto something. I hold onto the night. And you told me you loved me.

Were you just kidding?

Cause it seems to me this thing is breaking down. We almost never speak, I don't feel welcome anymore. Baby what happened, please tell me cause one second it was perfect now you're halfway out the door.

And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't called.

And then you feel so low you can't feel, nothing at all. And you flashback to when he said forever and always.

And it rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong. It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone. Cause I was there when you said forever and always.

Was I out of line? Did i say something way to honest that made you run like a scared little boy?

So here's to everything, coming down to nothing. Here's to silence that cuts me to the core.

Where is this going? I thought i knew but I don't anymore.

back up, baby, back up. Did you forget everything?

2010-03-27T20:40:00.005+08:00

toothless

went studying with my ent t'day! We were studying on a saturday in Cathay, how odd is that? :/

I love a little starbucks with something to munch.

it sucks that our weekend would eventually be tied down by our school. homework is piling up and we have to give up our weekend for that. homework kills paper! stop homework! I got a little bored when studying or would i say doing homework.
my ballet countdown, including tomorrow's lesson, i'll have only 6 lessons left with miss penny!!! :( please god, make at least something work in my life. I have to do well this time, i just have to. I have to prove to Miss Gina regardless of missings of lessons, i'm still able to do as well.

Crystal ent took a zoomed photo of me. I look a lil like a fish.

caught How To Train Your Dragon!

Toothless is uber cute. I want a dragon too. I'll call it.. flatfeet. hahaha.

love this bitch! (: I tell her all my problems and i know that someone's actually there for me t talk to. Best yet she's in my schoool! hahaha.

2010-03-26T23:34:00.004+08:00

dancefloor sober

love my girls.

we spent our 2 hour break doing nothing but taking photos and eating. fresh hell what is wrong with me, seriously! i can't stop eating man! for the whole 2 hours i was munching munching munching.

from instant noodles to potato chips to waffle biscuits to macca fries.. !!!!!!!

number one it's bloody unhealthy and number two i'm fucking fat already!!!! shut up if you say i'm not fat 'cuz i am okay. I'm skinny fat, deal with it.

ballet was super productive today. first time ever i felt so confident and proud that i'm dancing ballet. miss penny kept complimenting on my sissones which i am ultra happy about!! I'm setting my eyes on free movement study. First time ever I felt so pretty dancing ballet... first time ever. I never ever felt pretty dancing ballet though ballet is the prettiest dance in the world. Until today. Took quite some time aye? more than 10 years, to finally feel pretty.

juno secretly went into my parent's toilet and ran out with a wet tissue out. guess what that wet 'tissue' was! sick, i'm not going to let her kiss me anymore. can you imagine what goes in her mouth when we're not around! god. I seriously hate it when guys say first kisses are nothing? Okay, firstly, i don't give my kisses just to anyone, you'd be someone special if i gave you my virgin kiss, aite? so don't crap around and say that the virgin kisses doesn't matter, it matters to girls and like it or not, we're the ones you're going to kiss. unless you're gay.

fuck boys, seriously.

one day i'd snap and play every guy i set my eyes on

2010-03-25T21:57:00.002+08:00

desperation

I really want to go back to korea, where I could ditch all my problems and revel at the beauty of a whole new world. Picture perfect, isn't it? A hallmark of a postcard picture. No flaws, no fragments.

It's so beautiful there it's like living in a computer wallpaper. The leaves speckled with snow in the morning and your cheeks are pink after an entire day in the chilly wind. The tress so untouched and free and there's such serenity in the flowing water.

let's get high in school tomorrow

it's so cool that water and vodka have the same colour

2010-03-24T00:36:00.003+08:00

Cheapskates (:

As you know, Free Cone Day today!!!

I ate 5!!

edwin goh was ohso nice to pop by and accompany me

when i was waiting for Jasssy dear.

hahah, annoying face.

I love free cone days 'cuz that's when I see friends of mine

who i rarely/never ever meet and then we'll see each other and

"OMG HI!!!"

"can I queue with you?!! (:"

"no."

hahahaha.

I have this illness called Acid Reflux, sounds like some coolio shit.

But no, it's not cool at all.

I am easily make believe,

just dress me up in what you want me to be

2010-03-21T20:58:00.005+08:00

panacea

One of those days that the pig gets out off her crib to bake.

Aren't these sunflower cuppycakes loook pretty decent aye?

I think all my Food And Nutrition skills are gone, hahahaha. I felt so retarded folding the mixture and even measuring the ingredients. Sigh I need to get into the kitchen more often.

Somehow baking helped me keep my mind off from all the complications in my life. I don't bake well but at least I like doing it. But I'm pretty lazy even when it comes to baking.

I need an assistant.hahaha.

Shit you, mavis.

I'd have to skip session for 5 weeks b'cuz Ballet lessons have changed from saturday to sunday morning. Means now my SATURDAYS WILL BE FREEEEE! hell yeah.

Quick people ask me out to study, movies or whatev. Oh gawd I'll make every saturday my best day of the week. (:

I can't wait for Free Cone Day! (:

i wanted to say something but i forgot. :/ Seriously, my brain is dying.. Shit i can't remember what i want to say!!!

Screw it.

OHOH! I remember now!

I ate so much food these few days that I think my stomach could not suffice my intake that i puked and all. Is there an illness for eating too much?

I've been binging lately.

Sigh. mav, Tina the Talking Tummy will soon be Fat Tina the Fat Talking Tummy.

I think it already is. :(

so we sealed the deal with a kiss

2010-03-19T14:00:00.004+08:00

love of mine, some day you will die.

I do not want to replay the incident happened neither do I want to tell you about it. This shall be my secret, mine and mine only. It was at that convoluted half hour I felt so helpless, so vulnerable that I needed to lean on a pillar, a wall, anything, anyone. I needed so badly a shoulder to cry on, I reckon the others needed one too.

"what should I do.. what should I do???"

"what the hell is going on!!"

"why is everything repelling against me."

"God, you, help me."

All these were gripping tightly onto my mind, I felt like breaking.

Should I feel angry? or unwanted? I didn't have the slightest idea.

I hate crying, I seriously do.

Crying doesn't alleviate the situation neither does it gives you an answer. It leaves you feeling like crap and it forces your nose to leak like no end. It reveals your weak human spirit and soaks you in your own defeat. We cry when we're sad, we cry when we're angry and we cry when we're happy. We do the same thing when we're both hurt and overjoyed. I don't get it, I really don't. Maybe crying does help you feel a little better sometimes, to let go of some steam. But amongst all your tears and fist fights, reality is just rubbed harder and is etched onto you.

I feel like killing my life. Everything is repelling against what I hoped for. EVERYTHING! What's wrong with this! I'm out. I had enough.

I'm not playing your stupid games anymore, I quit.

There, call me a fucking weakling for all you want.

don't you fucking play me.

The reason why death sticks so closely to life isn't biological necessity- it's envy.

Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can.

2010-03-19T09:52:00.004+08:00

2 camps in a week sure wasn't a breeze. But dance camp was much better than church camp, it was a blast actually. Maybe because I didn't have a full heart in church camp? Yeah, maybe. Sooooo dance camp was great! Great in the sense I could dance something other than ballet and great in the sense that my hiphop instructor was cute and my stree jazz instructor was sexy? :D

My street jazz instructor really make me ponder why does he look so oh god damn sexy when he dance that routine meant for girls and if other guys dance it, they look gay and shitty.

And then and then my hiphop instructor was cute!! He was funny and he dances well! Okay so the dance lyrics had something something "you". It's a love song and when he danced i was sooo wanting him to point to me at the "you" part. HAHAHAHA. okay. :/

other than that, dance camp was fun. At the last part we dance in the studio like we were clubbing and all. Just for a song though but it was worth the fun. :) And many other stuffs which i'm far to lazy to type it all. I doubt you would wanna know cuz i'm a very long winded person.

I love the bunheads!

i miss my lonnngg hair. :)

i'd sit by that chair,

then i won't feel so alone

2010-03-17T11:06:00.002+08:00

dear balloons in the air,

pop.

2010-03-16T00:37:00.007+08:00

little house,

Today was a fair good day. Though it's the March Holidays, I unfortunately have school. I tried my best to skip the Physics test but Mrs Lian was tailing me like a stalker. I went left she went left, I went right, she did so the same. I'm going to fail. I really hate myself now. I keep telling myself I would study, not regret like how I did in O Levels. It's not even the 2nd term and I'm slacking already.

Caught Dear John, what a day to watch this movie. :/ How I wish I was Savana and John was John. (: I'll love every minute of life, really. Saw Abby at Ashtons! :) She's so darn cute in the Ashton's uniform. thahaha. Charis and I wanted to go to Romp! But didn't eventually.

I took the train home and reached my stop. I walked out, felt much like sorrow holding my hand. A bunch of ah bengs and lians walked out at my stop too, very much felt like kicking their faces. Fancy running around the MRT station and making a hell lot of noise at such a late hour. And smoking. And I, walking alone and trying to block out the clamor. I walked pass Hougang mall and then Pasta Mania, the usual walk I take to go home. Most of the time, taking the bus was first choice. Today is a special day I guess. My body felt like taking a walk. I took my walk really slow, tile by tile, foot by foot, as slow as I can. Everything have been racing too fast for me to handle.

I'm like in a marathon, crippled and struggling from last place, trying to catch up but futile. As I walked, I reveled the simplicity of my district, my home. My Secondary School looked great as ever, great memories there, not to forget the bad ones as well. Then opposite it was Hougang Plaza, I glanced through and happened to see this guy I knew. I darted my eye back as well as my head, pretending not to see him. I hate to see people I know at night. It's not as comforting as in the day. I want to be alone at night, at least for today. I walked along the pathway, I didn't use the overhead bridge. I took a pause and stood at the edge of the road, how I wanted to be the drunkard man over the other end, roaming and oblivious to the cars driving pass.

First step: look right, a car-probably a toyota, approx 500m away.

second step: look straight, forgetting about the car.

next few steps: walk forward.

I almost got hit. I was prolly a few inches away from that toyota. It honked like mad, like mad i swear. Oh well. I held my backpack in place. Then I wondered how time have changed with us. When I was younger, probably around primary 4, the low backpacks were the 'IN' thing. The lower your backpack, the cooler you are. So I guess if your backpack was dragging on the floor, you're the ultimate.

And years passed and our backpacks were pulled higher. Now, the higher the better. Up till everyone looks like a turtle. Many things have changed; perceptions, trends, people. But I guess it ain't such a bad thing at all. I took out my phone, looked at the time, 11.41, no messages. Done. All I could hear was the rustling of dried leaves and me kicking the twigs along the night path. The nice big rocks are not there anymore. Now everything's been cemented into a walkway. I hate the walkway. The big rocks made me feel like a child stepping on it one by one. I love to relive my childhood. Now another memory has fallen. The crickets were as if they were leading me home, from the night path till home, I have been hearing them one after another. Normally they irritate me like hell, they sounded like heaven tonight.

Then I reached the park, walked as fast as I could, I wanted to pee. Slow paced changing into a fast one, then a run. I ran. And ran and ran. I never knew my home was that far away, never was actually. I guess the pee was just catching up on me. Finally, home. Knocked, banged and yelled at the door. "PEEEE." Ana rannnn and knew (as usual) I wanted to pee. I always feel like peeing when I reach home.

Now I'm here. Typing all these out. There's more to say, my thoughts are overwhelming, they can't suffice in this tiny brain of mine. I have to something, at least one or two. I don't think I am the kind of person that keeps everything to myself. I have to tell someone. Be it Juno or a stranger. Just someone.

i wish i was a jellyfish

love, you shine so bright you put the sun to shame

2010-03-15T00:16:00.003+08:00

regurgitate evil

pictures of me= super ugly and fail

but who cares anyway i posted it up.

i guess today is one of those days i feel like crap and my face shows it all

same goes for yesterday

i don't know but i feel so angsty and confused

the worse thing is, i don't have the exact answer to what caused this.

is it the camp or is it just him?

i feel apprehensive about everything.

today when we had sessions in camp,

i don't know what to think or what to say to God.

I don't know what's my 'goal' for that moment.

all i thought of was all the random things i felt confused about.

and i guess i really need someone to talk to :(

i hate this feeling 'cuz i'm normally not like that

and it sucks not to be you.

so when i sing the songs i don't know why i cried so helplessly

i cried and cried for no rhyme or reason

i didn't feel the need to cry 'cuz the whole time,

i don't exactly know how am i feeling.

you get my point?

ihopeso

at least breakout was a happy moment for me.

i love joker cuz he's so cute and funny.

i've come to realise i like tissue boys, boys who have tissue paper with them.

it's weird i know but, it's a good weird?

and i too have realised that in the end,

you yourself normally do not end up with the guy of your type.

it some how goes the other way.

i want to talk to someoneeee now!

i feel so sad. ah whatever.

2010-03-11T23:04:00.002+08:00

surprise surprise

Dom randomly gave me a cute care bear!

ohemgee thanks my dear! love you loads!

i seriously love random gifts, it makes you

feel more appreciated than a impending gift

you'd already know you'd get.

surprises rock

but the suspense suck doesn't it.

wonderland

I was supposed to have frolick session with dear serene today! but she couldn't make 'cuz of work :/ so i went out with josh instead! thahaha. it was our first 'date'. Caught alice in the wonderland! It was fantastic. Graphics was hell awesome and the actors were good. Especially Johnny Depp and Anne Hathaway.

imagine me in wonderland, omg i want that rabbit and i want the cute hedgehog that appeared for prolly a minute in the movie (: Josh was like cracking his knuckles on purpose 'cuz he knows i don't like it. hahahah ass right. I feel damn weird calling josh, josh 'cuz my cousin is like joshua as well and it's like i'm calling my cousin. :/ why are there so many joshuas in the world! see mavis is so much more practical. (: I even have a tuition centre named after me okay.

test after test after test today. Test Week sucks. Tell you the truth, i'm not surprised if i didn't do well 'cuz everything was so clogged together. I know it's not as if A levels is not cramped but yah, cut some slack, we're just in the beginning. There are some thing i totally have no idea about is actually how to apply Economics to the paper itself. I know the concepts but i freaking do not know how to apply it! econs is a sucks. and then G.P.. OH GOSH.. kill me.

in my daydream, in my sleep

infatuation turning into disease

I want a Spill Canvas band shirt.

2010-03-08T22:01:00.002+08:00

cheeromatic

visited HIHS again today.

whenever i step and walk around HIHS now,

i actually have the sense of belonging there which i DID NOT have

when i was ACTUALLY in there?

weird huh, how people feel regret only in the aftermath.

so anyhow, school's been great - not.

i had major cramps today and i felt like ripping leonard's hair off.

he kept taking my arm and twisting it. haha

you tell me what kind of sadistic friend is this?

he smiles and laughs when i say, "ouch, leonard let me go."

omg.

i really want the 4 of us (edna, jassy, nella and me)

to hang out soon.

though i see edna and nella like all the time in school,

i miss them as a WHOLE. like the 4 of us crapping like no end.

boo

honestly speaking right,

other than shiqi and liling,

they're the only ones i have already.

gosh so little people revolve around me! and they're all girls!

i don't actually have a good guy friend now ever since Aus left.

boo again.

i can't wait for GP cuz my teacher looks like a panda.

a cute panda.

2010-03-05T22:31:00.003+08:00

POP! goes the weasel

what else can i say? what revolves around me is just school, school, and school. it's been just a few weeks and the people(classmates) around me have already been mugging. like, seriously, hardcore? in school study, during breaks study, after school also study.

then whereas for me, in school eat, during breaks eat, after school also eat. you tell me how. why am i such a glutton bombom.

but really, why study so hard now! i mean like, yes it's good to be consistent in work but all they do is study study study! sheesh! JC life is tough, yes. but if they keep mugging now, they're bound to break when A levels are nearing, i swear. we have a brain, not a super brain.

so today is Dance Friday. Where all my fridays are dedicated to dance. CCA dance. After CCA rush to ballet= dance.

i think i really have to apologise to miss gina for my actions today. :/

The moment i stepped in and dance on barre i whined and whined cuz my legs, stomach and back was so painful. And yah, she scolded me for whining.

For a brief moment i felt really maligned? 'cuz like i was thinking more of myself, i've been dancing the whole day and gees, cut some slack. But i thought during during ballet and what miss gina said was really true.

"If you don't have what it takes to handle both, don't. Quit."

what i've realised and realised hard was that things doesn't always have to go MY way.

I can't whine whenever and wherever. There's a limit to it and once i cross that boundary, the people around me would snap. Thank God miss gina woke me up today. (:

Should i text her an apology? I think i should right. But tomorrow got ballet eh wouldn't it be weird? aiya. don't know.

this is his face, i punched his face

i saw this guy on the bus. he looked at me and i looked at him. for 2 seconds, i thought i was in his eyes, in another world. After those 2 seconds, i went to an empty seat and started drinking sour plum ice blended. And life carried on. (:

sounds so cool right! and he was pretty cute! okay, handsome. and hot!

okay superficial me.

but seriously, isn't that the first thing we take NOTE of a person? it's an external expression people bring about themselves. we're bound to look at the external THEN the internal right. stupid people.

what, "people are beautiful in their own ways" c'mon lah. BE REALISTIC. bullshit.

loser, hello hello get a grip, get over it

poser, stylo milo get a grip, i'm over it.

taught my chummies in school. They seem to like it! (:

2010-02-25T21:44:00.003+08:00

golfanot

my daddy went to see this don't know what golf thing and he was able to get the signatures of the best women golfers in the world. He was telling ana not to wash the hat. C'mon man, ana washes everything, even a camera. Why not a hat with scribbles?

So daddy was happily boasting to me the red signature on is signed by the BEST FEMALE GOLFER in the WORLD. Nice.

I would be the..

BEST FEMALE EGG-EATER IN THE WORLD

how does that sound? awesome much? yeah..

actually i sound like a dinosaur. :/

the night smells like december

and we're undercover

staking out what could

Be better than all the money in the world

Studied with Sab and Honami after school. :D

It was damn damn damn funny man! Sab is one of the funniest person i have ever met in my life! hahaha. It was damn funny cuz i was telling her * had B.O and her expression was freaking funny. Studying with them was productive too! (: I think i'm getting the hang of econs now! LOVE

sab and nami we must study again kay!

i love you but i need not love you now

I had a bite of chicken nugget during dindin. Annoying Ana she didn't tell me that was nugget luh! I thought it was cheese tofu and i just took a huge bite.

omgg~ the chicken tasted DAMN GOOOD.

And now i'm craving for meat now.. MEAAAAAAAT.

okay i sound like a dinosaur again

see every lil' thing as it is. and love it

2010-02-24T21:40:00.005+08:00

twist a love

Hi.

I like Royce. Do you like royce too?

I know everyone loves royce cuz royce is oh-so-mmm-mmm good.

I could finally study/talk to shiqi yesterday!

I missed her so so so so so so so much man. :/

We took photos! (again)

I drew a picture of her. Nice??

i think it's a masterpiece.

The head's out of shape just like shiqi's!

My drawing is drawn with great precision.

Sooo, what you see in the picture and what you see of shiqi! :D

I look like an alien with only 4 fingers on my left hand.

Shiqi looks like she has none.

ohhh retarded hands

flamingo meets ball of light.

if you like reeeally look closely right,

my left eye, aye no. my right eye is bigger than my left eye.

AMAAAZZZING.

the pupil is bigger too! :O

love this bitch.

Dance was awesome today. We danced to 'Goodbye My Lover' (: Loved it. Actually i like ballet but i just don't like sucking at it i guess? Like i think i realised why i don't like ballet. I think it's because i suck at it? And naturally if you suck at something, you'll hate it. I didn't hate hiphop because, frankly, i was good at it. That's why i liked it? Maybe this was the whole problem of me. I don't really know how to accept some situations and make the best of it? I just whine and hate it and think something good will happen naturally, like a miracle.

But hey, mavis kathryn benedict, life isn't full of cupcakes and candyfloss yah. Life is cruel and painful! So, deal with it. (:

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend

I shall spam listen to this song to really get the feel of this song. Maybe i would dance better, by feeling the whole purpose of the song? I really want to express myself by dance. Like when i'm feeling powerful i'll dance hiphop, when i'm feeling really sad i'll dance contemp, when i feel graceful yet strong i'll dance ballet. Wow. Beautiful, isn't it. How dance can express such diverse emotions. thahaha. what the hell am i talking about.

I can't wait for mumsie to come back from Chicago. :/ Ever since she left i've been like really slacking. Guess what time i came to school today!! 9.30 am. -___- school started at 7.30. HAHA. OMG RIGHT. I woke up late for 2 days in a row. Gosh, mumsie come back home now! HAHAH. Who am i kidding? I should enjoy life right now!

i think my toes look like grapes,

rotten grapes.

2010-02-19T23:38:00.009+08:00

maybe all we can do is to hope that we end up with the right regrets

I am going to sacrifice meat and profanities for 40 days. Okay, i'd refrain from vulgarities after the 40 days too but yeah, the 40 days would be a warm-up for me. (: Wish me luck.

Today wasn't the very best of days. It's actually by the little little actions that paints the whole picture but not the general idea of what the picture is. It's like looking at the fishes in the sea from sky view and not just by looking at the sea itself. You look much deeper within and you will see the whole notion of everything?

I took a look at the fishes in the sea today. I get the picture now. I get everything. All bright and clear.

Some things are just not as what you think and expect it to be.

maybe what i told myself last time is true, that relationships are meant to be broken.

And through the break up, you'd eventually break more relationships.

What you expect may not be in reality.

Reality would slowly claw it's way out from the ground and reveal itself to you.

On the brighter note, i 'reconciled' with gabriel. HAHA. Funny but yeah. Had dindin with nick, steffi and him today. It was a little awkward yesterday but it got better today. Ate at Manhattan Fish Market. Actually, I thought being alone with him would be awkward but hey, actually not. When we were walking home I could actually talk to him like usual? I guess that's a good thing?

I hope history won't repeat itself. :/ hahah.

On the brightest note, I made friends in Dance today! That's really good 'cuz i'm actually the only dance person in my class? Which really sucks 'cuz that means i have to re-socialise with the people in dance which really sucks. Thank goodness i make friends easily! I think.

All's well ends well, i'm just gonna forget every shit that happened today. Hope for the better, prepare for the worst.

I miss jaslyn and shiqi so much, it kinda hurts.

2010-02-14T01:33:00.002+08:00

happy (not so) cheena new year everyone!

tell you the truth, i'm totally not in this festive mood this year. everything's so not cheena-ish this time. guess what! i didn't buy any new year clothing too! like yes, i have clothes that i haven't wear yet but i did not buy FOR chinese new year. normally i would but this year's an exception. i ate a lot of mushroom with hair (not literally) this year. Sudden craving. Abalone tasted like rubberbands this year. Salmon still tasted as good.

we didn't lou yu sheng. :/ that was my favourite part of chinese new year, other than the eating part.

i think joe's back. you know, my frienemy. Joe the Lizard Which Walks On The Floor. he eats the mozzies, yes. BUT DOES HE HAVE TO WALK ON THE FLOOR. I named him Joe cuz, he looked like a joe.

i went out with max today. we were so close yet so far on Boys Like Girls day. He was there and i was there too. But he didn't know i was there and i didn't know he was there until i told him i was there and he told me he was there on Boys Like Girls day. Am i confusing you? Yes? Good. I don't like you either.

I'm so sorry i'm supposed to be happy because it's technically, HAPPY chinese new year. But i'm so sorry to disappoint you. I'm not happy at all. In fact, SCREW CHINESE NEW YEAR TO YOU. hahah, i'm being all feisty and all. I'm not always like that (: I reckon my mens' coming. This happens all the time when i have my mens.

i adore food but my waistline doesn't.

2010-02-13T00:49:00.005+08:00

weirdness matters

finally got the mac back.

Soooo, yeah.

CAM-WHOREEEE

omg why is my font blue.

I've been looking more at girls than guys lately.

It's like i'm turning to a bi or something.

Okay, I think maybe it's just

GIRLS are HOTTER than GUYS. :D That's that.

there are some days that i just feel alien. Some days I feel like an egg. Some days i just feel damn plain weird. People think i'm weird and strange. Sometimes i wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing? I don't think it's a good thing. In some form or way, my actions are difficult to comprehend to normal people, i guess?

I know liling's weird. (: hahah.

okay i don't really know how to give an example to my strangeness but ya, i'm strange. self-explanatory? I met my fellow HIHS people today to visit HIHS. The chinese new year celebration was, in one word, BORING, literally. I would prefer to listen to a lecture than to see that 'celebration'. I don't know why can performances be that boring. I almost died.

there are some things i would REALLLY wanna shout it out and type it down here but i can't! i think once i do i'll like blow everything up and everything's going to be salad (term: screwed up) Sigh, secret diaries won't work b'cuz i know it won't be a secret anymore since i told my diary. My diary tells my secrets to a lot of people.

sometimes i think i'm a popcorn.

when i'm too hot, i pop.

2010-02-10T22:57:00.002+08:00

marathon affection

love my class, love my school, love my life. What can be any better? (:

ohmygod i feel so Honami today :D hahahha. Honami's like our awesome Bimbo in our class!! She darn darn darn funny! hahah.

My mummy added me on Facebook. That is like, sooooooo weird. What if I have (suddenly) a secret boyfriend or something? Like I went out lying to her I went to study :O She will so know about it. I bet she will STALK me on facebook. I'll STALK her back.

I feel damn damn tired right now. And I can't believe i'm right here, right now, blogging this thing. All I have in my mind is Econs Econs Econs! hahah. Opportunity cost is the lost of potential gain from the next best alternative when one alternative is chosen.

ohmygosh am i awesome or what? I've been reciting the same sentence since morning! haha.

okay my brain memory cannot suffice everything! It's limited. Hence, scarcity occurs. HAHAH. Omg what the hell am i talking about.

Can i talk more next time? I'm getting a tweeny lazy. My eyes burrrrnnn and I smell like men now. :O just kidding i smell like flowers.

2010-02-06T17:06:00.012+08:00

individual sacrifice

Orientation lovin'

In a nutshell, orientation in SRJC was great~

Especially the mass picnic in the field!

My classmates are great which made

everything uber good!

This is meredith!! (:

from left to right

helen, vanessa, sabrina, me and ed (:

hahah, one of the games.

brandon and I partner-ed and he was blindfolded.

So i was his eyess :D

it was damn funny cuz he was like,

"mavis where where!"

thahahah.

leonard, brandon, me, vanessa, jia(o)wei, trisha, mere and ed! (:

love taking photos under the sun! hahah.

don't all of us look so damn good!

best weather ever

sunny + windy!! :D

don't the 5 of us look like some super people or something.

like 'justice league'! *shines* HAHA.

mr and mrs smith~ the less hot version :D HAHAH.

lilinggg! :D

we were hugging each other

and then she was trying to drink

and i was trying to eat. HAHA.

the brother clan (:

it's so kewl cuz we're all brothers here!

leonard taught me mixed martial arts or something

so i started kicking him. hahah.

not.

i'm sucha weakling.

szeying!! (: my first friend in orientation!

other than Kevin;

who has the vibe of melvin.

Okay, further elaborate later.

Some hawaiian pizza for usss.

I don't mind spending my next 2 years with this class

no one seemed to annoy me in this class

not like the normal when i see someone and that

instant i'd want to slap him/her. heh

yup! orientation was good!

I liked the mass dance a lot! Lollipop~

My partner was kevin tan (the melvin vibe guy)

seriously..

it was like secondary school all over again

the first person i met in secondary school was melvin tan

and then the first person i talked to in SRJC was kevin tan.

weeird :/ hahah.

he really had the melvin vibe cuz he was like a little gay and all.

haha! like the gaygay kind lah. ya you get what i mean.

i like SRJC! I feel belonged in this school. maybe because before i actually went into this school liling have already introduced me to some of her friends so i already know more people. which made everything easier! i love the people! they're not so ahlian and ahbeng-ish like in HIHS. and not so poser-ish in HIHS where everyone just bitches about whoever they hate.

I think i'm saying this now because this is just only the beginning. hahha, all schools are the same... drama drama everywhere.

Speaking of

HIHS, i went back with crystal my awesome ent yesterday to visit dance!! (: I miss HIHS so much! I used to rant and ramble how much i want to get out of that school but now i just want to sit in the canteen and have the HIHS feeling back. ): Yeah so dance was great! I guess the dancers improved a lot, especially Chloe! I think she was so far the best junior i seen? hahha. (:

Crystal and I learned a little of the Tiktok! I felt damn good dancing it! Though it was just mere 2 eights only :/ hahaha. I want to dance i want to dance hiphop.

we sat in the canteen and talked about how much we missed HIHS. Like how we normally end dance class and sit in the canteen and eat instant nooodles! good times..

cherrycherryboomboom

had dindin with shiqi last night at gardens! (: though we're in different schools now, i think we'd still be best of friends!! I'm quite sure about that! I missed her sooo much! (: Talked to her about a lot of things over dindin at ChompChomp and Frolick! (:

dreamcatcher

last night was the first time i saw her cry so badly.

it was also the first time i cried for someone's heartbreak and not my own.

all i could feel was to feel helpless, i didn't know what to do.

so all i did was to hold her hand, maybe that would help, i don't know.

how could someone be so heartless and ridiculous in this world? didn't God teach them to love and to care. If they love they should understand how much it hurts. How much pain it will cost.

Sigh.

Voodoo Girl

her skin is white cloth,

and she's all sewn apart

and she has many coloured pins

sticking out of her heart

she has a beautiful set

of hypno-disk eyes

the ones that she uses

to hypnotize guys

she has many different zombies

who are deeply in her trance

she even has a zombie

who was originally from france

but she knows she has a curse on her

a curse she cannot win

For if someone gets

too close to her,

the pins stick farther in.

i don't feel fine, sweetheart.

2010-02-04T22:10:00.002+08:00

love like SR

I'm loving SR, every single bit of it. Even the boring boring, super boring briefings. And every day after I come back home, I'd just bathe and sleep. Thahaha. Love this life!

But I know after this week it's REALLLY back to reality. Books will start beetling in and it'll be time for us/me to mug.

Things in SR had been great! Funfunfun! hahah. My classmates are damn gooood! I like my class! We have soo many different personalities man!

one is BI, the other is lesbian, one emulates steven lim so on and so forth! (: diverse characters i'd say (: thahahha. LOVE!

I just feel so happy being part of this whole school!

and yes i miss HIHS a lot. I really regret skipping classes all the time! Now i just wanna sit on the typical usual chairs and listen to Mr Anba. Or maybe even Mrs Chin.

Good times good times. (:

and i met soo many people in SRJC! hahha. cute guys.. a few only luh. I think the one at work's the ultimate. :D But oh well! (:

Edna's in my class y'know! OMG god's a miracle or what! I really love how God messes with our lives (: In a good way and bad! hahah. For now, it's good. (:

Okay, it's 10.20 and i'm gng to tug in. School tomorrow! :D

2010-01-29T12:06:00.014+08:00

Thunderbolt affection

HIIII.

I haven't been blogging much due to

number one. having wayyy too much fun in Universal Studio

number two. The mac is currently being serviced

andd

number three. I didn't go out very often = my life veh boring.

So, let's get kickin'

Went out with Ed, Matt and Bryan last monday.

It was a last minute thing cuz I was finally free!!

First intention: Accompany Edna to shop with those girls.

Unfortunately, they bailed out and whatev.

Honestly speaking, wayyyy to irresponsible.

Soup spoon-ed first.

The bowl is BIGGER THAN MY HEAD!!! :D

Matt totally ruined the nice picture man, seriously.

and again, ruined by him.

Then we were nearby so we visited jasssy dear!

Gosh i missed her like maddd!!! (:

Caught New York I Love You.

Suckssz.

I totally didn't understand the whole concept of the story.

I was like,

"so, why New York I Love You."??

They made it in such a way that shows the different lives

the new yorkers have.

But it's wayyy to complex for me to comprehend. -__-

Cannot make it.

OH YAH, I suck at abbreviations.

I only found out what FML and.. TTM meant last week.

And sometimes it takes a while for me to know,

FML is.. Fuck my life, yes. Fuck my life. GOSH.

Then, ed and bryan ate at the Shokudo or something.

We were awfully nice to wait for jass till 10 you know!!!

10!!!

KITE FLYING

My first time ever to fly a kite!! *well almost* (:

Our first 2 kites were damn jialat.

we only managed to fly it properly at the...

30th attempt?? hahah. Probably MORE!
Then it drizzled!!!!

hunted for shelter and played Tabboooo. (:

and eat.

See! these are our 2 'awesome' kites. (: ahhaha.

Okay, here's the AMAZING part.

After a while we got fed up for having useless kites.

So we bought a damn power one.

The Penguin costing 35 with 100metres string.

I was the first one to fly the penguin lah.

Then guess what,

I let it loose. HAHAHHA.

So it flewwwwwwwwwwwwww

away

from me.

I RAN AND RAN AND RAN AND RAN!

But yah, i couldn't catch it. hahah

i looked retarded.

So i bought another penguin cuz korkor was like damn pissed.

ahhaha.

See the diff?

*hint* the legs.

I just gave you the answer. -__-

dammit it wasn't a hint at all!!!

We got a tad bored and took loads of picctures!

all of them are in FACEBOOK so yeah (:

I totally spoilt the whole picture can!

my hand wasn't in the right angle lah! hhaahah.

Bouncers, charlie angels!!! :D

hell yeah i can jump.

badge day

Went with edna to make the badges for Acts 2 (;

And we with nana watched a mooovie.

Sherlock Holmes i think. Yah.

I like this photo!!! hahah.

Class Chalet

i'm really lazy to post up all the photos

i'm sorry.. ahah.

this was one of the dare i did.

poor joshua he had to take my weight on his shoulder.

haha

who am i kidding?

he deserves it!! :D

yeah, overall chalet was fun?
it was the last time i could really spend time with my classmates
so yeah.
I managed to have fun with caslin and all. (:

I wanted to actually TALK to gabriel
but whatever, trash that thought.
hahah, I think i was all sentimental and everything
like in chalet my whole mind was,
"i wanna be friends with everyoneee!"
So yeah.

Okay! I love universal studio and i'm never going to leave!!!
i'm posted to SRJC. :D
Going to be in dance. I think i'm going to hate it, really.

Dance in srjc is wayyyy different from dance in HIHS. Not hiphop, not modern.
it's.. BALLET. OMG i can die i can die i can die.

I fell ill again. :/ why why why am i so weak.

2010-01-13T11:55:00.007+08:00

it's all for yours to blame,

I got slapped.

First slap, I didn't understand why.

Second slap, I was confused.

The third, I knew why. I knew it very well.

I didn't do well for my O levels. Not well at all. And there was not a single matter I could do to change what happened. So, I cried. And I cried hard. I cried and cried and cried. What went through my mind was all pointing to God.

"god why did you do this to me."

"god i thought you loved me"

"I'm so sorry, my family."

I called daddy immediately. I tried so hard breathing for air. The air turned solid and impenetrable. I was breathing bricks. I choked on myself, tried without stammering on the speaker. I heard my daddy's frantic voice, "mei, what happened? are you okay?"

What kills me the most, all I could do was to apologise.

Nothing more

I wanted SO badly my daddy to scold me there and then. And I'd listen. Listen so attentively. Slap myself hard. Make me realise what smooth moves I had done. But no.

In turn, he told me all Bs weren't so bad. At least I passed everything. x and x points were not so bad. He gave me the assuring solicitous voice.

No it was not alright. This is not a "nevermind", it's not an "okay". It's a disaster.

It was till then, that I realised how much regret a person can sustain. How much we do to achieve something. How much luck do we need. It's never the same now.

Thankfully during the 4 years, I didn't do anything for zilch. I could minus 2 points thanks to dance. And hopefully, I hope I'll get into SRJC and go from there. O levels was a wake up call. It woke me up hard, very very hard. I'm not going to push this regret away from me and carry on with my indolent life.

I'd do something about it.

Now i'd thank god. If were not for Him, I wouldn't have these points. I could have gotten worse. Very much worse.

Now i'd advice you, no matter how much your friends talk and comfort you till their throats dry out. You're still out there alone. No one is going to carry you on their back. NO ONE.

No one except your family.

When everything just seems to be crashing down on you and every matter just cracks you open,

the ones gluing you back would be your family.

I put my life on that.

the girl who never told who.

2010-01-02T22:38:00.002+08:00

BACK TO REALITY

Korea was a blast!!!! BLAST BOOMZ! I love korea!! I want to go back there again and again and again! I want to experience all 4 seasons there I want to stay there my whole life!

Korea was that fun, people. That fun.

I'll further explain when I get the photos. Photos are still with Audreyjiejie.

With Audreyjiejie = photos.

Soooo you gotta wait. And yes I took down many lessons-to-learn in korea!! I'll say it all at once when I have the photos yah!!

The food in korea was ohsolovin' ! Before I went to korea many told me the food there sucks, not to our (singaporeans) liking. Too sour, too spicy, overall suck. But...

BUTTTTA!

THE FOOOD ROCKED!

It rocked harder than anything else in the world! I'd say... Nicer than eggs itself..

Yes.. I said it. There is ACTUALLY something better than eggs. ):

Korean food : Level 1

Eggs : Level 2

Which level is higher ah? 1 or 2? :/ Aiya, you get my point.

Shopping was alrighty. Things there aren't like dirt cheap or anything.

Price range : 20- 100 plus. Yup. Nothing less than that

OTHER THAN the 10'ooo won bags and shoes.

Which, in singapore currency around 12 dollars. (which is quite cheap lah)

Food checked, shoppping checked. Ahhh now people.

The people I met were nice! Not as rude as I thought. But the strangers in crowds were. :/ They pushed and pushed and pushed! Okay lah I did push too out of anger. But still!

They shouldn't push!!!

Cute guys? I only met 2.

Girls? They all look same. Most look plastic.

ALMOST ALL HAD FLAWLESS SKIN!!! ): Envy~

There was one girl I saw, FLAWLESS until cannot be FLAWLESS. I couldn't see any wrinkle line in her face okay. So fair and smooth. Wow.

I felt like eating her face because it looked like tofu. Heh (:

---

I finally woke up and started going back to ballet. I quit work (going to) and I'll be working very hard for the impending ballet exam. I have to work doubly hard now because I'm very lousy now. :/ I lost my flexibility and evrything. Sigh.

Balletballet! I love ballet! Ballet is pronounced as beh-leh right?

My daddy accidentally (i'm sure) pronounced ballet as buh-leh. HAHAHA. so darn funny.

* Daddy got me the Yari!!! :D Love it love it. It's so pretty!

Okay I shall have 1! and only 1!!! new year resolution! JUST ONE!

: Not to lose the Yari for a year. (: How about that?! Good good? (:

what.. All my phones didn't last a year okay! The longest was 6 months. -___-

I already changed 3 phones this year! aye no, LAST YEAR!

Oh yeah, happy new year! (:

And!

Happy birthday Abigail Tan! (:

gooodbye!

Junk Girl

There was once a girl

who was made up of junk.

She looked really dirty

and she smelled like a skunk

She was always unhappy,

or in one of her slumps - perhaps 'cause she spent

so much time down in the dumps.

2009-12-23T23:15:00.002+08:00

makeup emotions

It's 1123 now and i've not get some rest for my korea trip tomorrow morning. I have to wake up at like.. 5? And reach there at 7. ):

Yes I feel eggcited and happy! I'm going to Korea! See some pretty christmas lights, enjoy life, ski!

Argh, you, stupid thing. You just had to leave me hanging there. HANGING! Might as well you cut the thread and let me drop all hopes. I don't mind that, really. Now i'm so confused. Like as if i'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. :/

Okay I shall forget everything and just happily enjoy Christmas and Newyear there. I'll sure miss my family, my awesomenesses, my supercuties, shiqi and all. Ah this is the problem of going overseas. Whatever you love is left behind. Well almost.

So goodbye people. Merry christmas!

If my heart were a compass, you'd be North.

If my heart is home, well i'd be yours.

2009-12-22T14:43:00.007+08:00

Random.

These pictures are actually after the 'poignant heartbreak'

but yeah, i'm lazy so whatever. Deal with it.

Juno!

Ah i love her when she's all gentle.. NOT

like a crazy woman.

Sooooo, I've taken all the winter clothing from the chest

and now all i have to do is to pack it into the luggage!

And try them on!

I forgot what's this called. Is it a beanie? :/

I prefer this blue one to the burberry one.

It's less itchy and it looks like the one

Leeminho has! :DD

Fendi.

I can wear this coat 2 ways y'know! hahah.

I like this side better.

Poignant Heartbreak

I'm so tired right now. I slept for 13, correction, 14 hours.

Pig? No?

I plan to quit work at Fish&Co when I come back from Korea.

I hate cherry.

I didn't know i yawned ugly. :o

Daddykins got me a blackberry.

Cuz I mentioned to him I wanted one.

Buta.. It's ug-leh. ):

So yeah, I've got to get another phone.

Thinking of Yari. (:

Okaye, I went to town t'day. Bought the purple down jacket for Audrey jiejie. Haha. My objective of gng out. I saw many people! Reynold, Jazzmine, Shawn and all. Woah. hahah. Everyone's doing some christmas shopping! :D

I really love the whole game of giving. It feels good when someone loved what you gave him.

But somehow, people don't really show if they like it or not. So it's confusing sometimes. Haha.

YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

Too bad I won't be in Singapore in Christmas. Sigh, another year of spending christmas without my cousins and relatives. :/ At least! I have relatives with me this christmas so it ain't so bad.

Christmas there would be a blast cuz it'll be snowing over there. (: Cold, but assuring.

Finally, a year's coming to an end. Actually, if I said time flies, i'd be lying. Because this year, SOOOO MANY things happened! Hundreds, Thousands of events! I made friends, I lost friends, I fought with my friends, I took exams, I schooled, I shopped, I had holidays, I had fun, I went out with my family, everything! That took a year. A solid whole year.

To experience happiness and sadness. Acquire wisdom and sensibility. How much I've changed in a year. Wow.

I've become more.. Honestly, I have no idea. I don't know what i've become actually. What I was from the past in comparison to now, I have no clue.

All I know that, I'm ready to be a much better person next year. Be it to love or to my family.

I love presents. I love Jesus. That's why I love christmas, evrything fits.

2009-12-20T01:03:00.002+08:00

Oyster Boy

I had to attend 2 concerts today. Unfortunately, both crashed. So I had to choose one.

I went to Joshua Korkor's cuz he's my cousin. Not saying that Nigel don't mean anything to me! It's just that I should support my family more :D

Hope Nigel danced as well as he could.

Last time when we had some free dance course at SP, honestly speaking he danced like crap. So did Marcus. HAHA. I'm serious.

Pinky

Korkor's performance was AWESOME shitxzx. Mark Tan and korkor were damn funny! HAHA. Ah I wish for my DSLR nownownow! I think I should start asking my parents instead of just whining to myself that I want it right. Okay I shall tell mumsie tomorrow. I need a good camera for Korea. A dslr will do the job (:

I heard Korea is so cold that my fingers might FREEEEzE. :o Don't worry i'm hothothoT! thaha.

Tomorrow's Cousins outing! We wanted to go zombing but fully booked. ): Betcha you guys don't know what's that right??

Yup Mind's cafe instead. (:

2009-12-18T00:58:00.002+08:00

Not because he's rich or smart

it's because he stole your heart

Cramp's the most horrible thing a girl have to put up with. I stayed home the whole day just because of bloody cramps.

I watched many many movies. 500 days of summer, Cloudy with a chance of meatballs and Ponyo!

Okay not that many. ahah.

500 days was awesome. It isn't the typical happy love story, thats why I liked it!

And the girl looked really like Katy Perry. Katy Perry is hot.

Okay bye (:

I'm blogging cuz I just wanted to say that cramps suck. :D

I finally braved myself and took Asprin pills. I never did. Only once at edna's place. And that's that.

And now! cramps pushed me to the limit. I had to take them.

I'm just not very good with pills. :/ they're pretty hard to swallow.

2009-12-16T23:02:00.008+08:00

Sentosa

We celebrated Nigel's birthday the other day! haha.

Here are some of the photos we took!

Rest are in FB.

I like this picture a lot! haha, I look so laidback here. (:

The 3 of us! I wonder if I could just paste Cassandra's face inside :D

EGGS! <3

I wanted to make my own zone and 'alone space' but

annoying dawn kept ruining my zone. HAHA.

Soon Marcus and FY got bored and started burying me.

Oh, by the way, the stick's my 'dick'.

Haha.

Nigel started coming in.

I was wondering,

"i'm not the birthday boy, why am i the one getting buried?!?!"

After the hard work. Haha, my fake smile. Cuz I was so tired of

staying at the same position for like how long. -.-

Then I freed myself!

I was like a butterfly in a cocoon (:

I hate butterflies.

Girls day out

Went out with my girls today (: Nana came later cuz she was having a horrible swollen eye. Thahha.

So lunch-ed at Mos Burger with Jas, Nella and Jocelyn. There was this damn noisy kid who kept crying. I seriously felt like breaking the kid's head. I'm not sadistic or anything but HELL MAN that kid sure is noisy. Don't get me wrong I love kids :D (go figure the smile)

Bought pudding and meringue biscuits as snacks! Then we went to meet Ed-na and off to Jas' crib for Band Hero.

I so rock at GUITAR AND DRUMS! hahaha. Jaslyn said my co-ordination good eh. (: HAHAH.

Nana was good at drums man. Nella was damn funny in I forgot what song was that. Hahha.

Watched Mean Girls. Haha. There are 4 means girls right. mmmm.

They said I'd be the bimbo one who can't spell 'orange' and uses her boobs as a weather forecast. -.-

Edna will be the Fetch girl cuz she's crazy like her. HAHA.

Jaslyn will be Regina George and Nella Lindsay Lohan :D

HAHAH.

Heyya I'm Boob Girl. (:

I'm mean and plastic. *shine*

Then Nella went off early and the 3 of us chit-chatted and all and ate Kimchi instant noodles!

Okay my show's on now gooodbye!

I love my mom when she's freaked out by a lizard (:

2009-12-14T20:10:00.003+08:00

Phonebook Story

I had the chance to shop at Espirit the other day (finally) YAY! A bag, 2 dresses, a pullover and a shirt. (:

Celebrated Nigel's birthday early in Sentosa on the same day. He stupidly wore a pair of jeans.

I got buried in sand by Marcus and Fengyuan! Hahah, I conveniently wore my daddy's beach shirt. So comfortable and big! Thank God he didn't know.

He already grumbled when I wore his Timberland shirt when he haven't even wear it at all. (:

Confirmation mass was yesterday. I felt so glad that more people are getting confirmed and slowly walking into the path of God's hands! I wore a white dress which made me looked very much like the confirmants. I wanted to relive my past (: HAHA.

I'd be Mavis Kathryn Benedict Edna Ong Min Li. :D hahah, kiddingg.

I quarreled with my manager (cherry) today. The fat mascot I was telling you about. She said I was the first person that made her so angry in her whole 1 year and 3 months of working in Fish & Co. How did I make her so angry??

I rolled my eyes at her. That's that.

And yeah, I kinda argued and stuff. I shan't type out the whole story cuz it was a series of events that accumulated my anger towards her. (: I'm the headstrong type when you offend me.

I always WANT my way so, that's how it always goes.

But now it's different.

The working world isn't like Home.

Till then,

2009-12-11T23:23:00.005+08:00

Winter flicker

Mom came back from overseas and bought us loads of awesome winter clothing for Korea!

Swell!

I can't wait to wear the MaxMara coat!! (: Unfortunately it looks nicer on sissy.

This Abercrombie jacket she bought for sissy and I!

Our snow boottss (:

Mumsie bought me converses too but it's too big. She bought me size 5. ): Maybe I'll give it to someone or just wear it? It's authentic anyway. So it'll be better for the feet? hahah. Great that mumsie had great deals and got these cheap. Best yet, authentic!! (:

But still a little pricey though. :/

Good she came back safe and sound.

I'm sucha clumsy fart. I split the garlic lemon butter sauce on one table which had a beng and lian.

It was quite funny cuz I think they were having this, 'boyfriend meets girlfriend's parents' thing?

There were the beng's friend. And the beng's girlfriend which is the lian. And the beng's girlfriend parents. Hahah. Weeeird. I never thought bengs and lians' relationships would last.

Yet the meeting of parents?? :/

Rantbams.

I got very frustrated with this co-worker with mine. She's called Edeline. God, she's so.. lame and childish. And she's 17 for crying out loud. She's craps a whole lot of bullshit during work and she's like a bootlicker I guess? Yes my face did show my feelings. I think it's mutual. She gossiped about me to her so called 'good friends' and I did too to mine. (: Like edna's saying, "she fights fire with fire." I do too. Hahah. When I'm pissed.

And another incident. This guy called Theodore? Kay, I was nice enough to help him clean his area and instead of thanking me, guess what he said? "Mavis, get back to the greeter stand."

HELLO?!?! I was nice enough to help him? And there weren't any tables left for the waiting guests to sit? Bloody hell. And he won't be the one getting scolded, I will. Cuz I was at the greeter stand alright. This is the time when I said, "Fuck."

Yes I know I have my own faults but look, at least get things right first before jumping into conclusions?

Instead of confronting me, they complained to each other when I yelled at them. Urgh, pieces of wusses.

Theodore is nice but sometimes, he gets on my nerves.

AND the manager complained about my voice? WHAT! SO WHAT IF I HAVE AN ACT CUTE VOICE. Did I make a choice? NOOOooo

Yah maybe sometimes it's tooo high and pitchy that it gets annoying.

Hello miss philippino manager?? You have this blooody annoying accent that doesn't ever run off?!?! Like this annoying accent that gets on my nerves too y'know?

Can I shout that out loud to you?? NO. Why? Cuz you're a bloody fat bitch manager.

Go be a mascot for Fish & Co you fat fishball.

I hate my managers. They're of different frequency of each other. Who should I listen?

One tell me, "JUST STAND AT THE GREETER STAND."

the other tell me, "DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF STANDING STUPIDLY AT THE GREETER STAND."

OMG?!?! WTF?!?

the only people I like/love are Eleanna and Kalisha. God I wish they're with me forever. They're on the same level as me. We don't like the same people and like the same people. I guess different people click with different people?

Urg, angry angry.

CHURCH!

Went to church after eating a little something with Eleanna. AH!! I met my awesomenesses!! (: HAPPY HAPPY!

OMG EDNA IS GOING TO BE HAPPY AND JASLYN IS HAPPY!

fionella and I left! HAHAHA. No I'm happy too.

I love them a lot a lot! Though I saw them last week but it was like I didn't see them in like FOREVER. hahah. I missed them so much!

Singsingsing.

Now i'm here at home, still wearing my snow boots. Typing to you. (:

I guess no one actually reads these long posts so I guess I can rant everything here.

Ta.

2009-12-11T00:50:00.002+08:00

Makeshift Lover

I've been so caught up with work that I barely had the chance to catch up with my bestfriends. ):

I read the wrong work schedule today. Sigh, I took a cab lest I reach there late or something. In the end, work for me started at 5 instead of 12. How I hated myself then, I deprived myself of shining beautiful extra 4 hours of sleep.

So I was pretty much alone and bored so yeah, I needed company. Sherman was nice enough to accompany me for lunch! We ate at this shop I didn't know it existed in AMK Hub. Thahaha.

I labelled Yakults, bought sweet talk and watched a movie on my ipod pretty much throughout my 5 lonely hours. Haha.

Yes, I have work at 12 tomorrow. Gah, sometimes I wonder what value has money have that we yearn so much. Just to get by life; a choice we did not concur, we need money.

Can money buy back what I've lost in the past? What I have regretted? No.

So what VALUE does money actually have? Materialism? Survival? Mostly these 2 huh. To eat and live, and to get drowned by the morbidly cruel society of materialism.

True enough, we still follow suit anyway. Money has it's own ways of manipulating such we have no control of. How much we get sucked into this black hole.

Touche.

2009-12-09T01:14:00.003+08:00

Let's play pretend

I think I worked so hard that my feet would bleed. (:

Everyone served me like how I served Fish & Co when I came back.

HAHA. I'm exaggerating.

Ate instant noodles (yay!) with feet so reposefully soaked in hot water. Ahhhh. How nice to end my day.

----------

WORK COMIC

Kelisha was super funny cuz I was telling her that I worked in Sembawang this morning. Then she asked me,

"Isn't Sembawang a CD shop?"

HAHHAH. She's so funny!

I think Kelisha, Eleanna and me are going to be good friends in future! :D

I just think that I click most to them?

I hope one day I'll earn more money and treat my family to dinner. I guess I owe my family a lot. I don't think 'owe' is the right word cuz I mean, family aren't strangers or anything. But I guess I'm under an obligation to such extent. Yah. Haha.

Even though I look like I've moved on, yeah. Things don't look like what it seems. We can't just look on the surface but feel what's inside. Whatever.

I'm not really into second-hand surgeries. If you get what I mean.

2009-12-08T00:11:00.004+08:00

I see with my eyes

Ahhh, after one long day of work, I feel accomplished.

Fortunately, I didn't make any mistake today! *pats on my shoulder*

I'm zonked man. Tomorrow is another start of work!

I worked from 12-10 today. Wow right. Full shift.

I realised I've been talking about work ever since I started working! haha.

I elle-oh-vee-eee their Endearmints all right. I think Endearmints originated from Endearment. haha. Duh. -.- It's blooody obvious. Alrighty, I should sleep soon. I miss my mummy, though it's good to not hear her naggy voice once in a while. (:

Oh shit I forgot to do book something. o.o I should have a planner that doesn't start only on the 14th of december! Kikki K you suck. haha, kidding.

Everyone's sleeping now, I wonder w

hy they're sleeping so early when it's only 12.24. -.-

Ernest is funny, he thinks he has changed just because he don't walk like a beng anymore. HAHA. We tried finding his stupid SUMO HOUSE like just now (which we already know it'll be close but he insisted) and obviously, it was close. It was at block 710 and we were lost cuz we were at 711. Heh. This happens when 2 direction idiots meet.

I feel quite guilty towards everyone especially my best friends cuz I keep forgetting things. Sometimes I wonder where my brain went to. It seems that it's not functioning after O levels ended. Haha, I think my memory was as bad when I had O levels. I still remember Vitamin A is Retinol! (: Thanks.

Tomorrow I'm working again! (:

Oh it's all about the money, honey.

2009-12-06T22:48:00.006+08:00

Here we go

I went out with Shiqi today! We went to find a simple shirt for her but in the end we were unable to find a simple shirt she liked. I emphasize on the simple cuz you know, a simple dress ain't difficult to find in VIVO CITY right? (: hahah.

And in the end, I was the one buying something.

Went to audrey jiejie house the next. Discussed about our fab korea trip.

I can't wait! (:

* Oh, there's a comment box for you to comment! Thahah. Duh.

It's there!

Over to the left! (:

Alicia recommended me this guestbook thingy so yeah! (:

Till then,

2009-12-06T13:42:00.001+08:00

should I change my email from stupid thistlegirl to eggsandbiscuits?

Cuz you know I like eggs and I didn't know why did I make an email called thistlegirl when I was young. I'm not very good with names you see.

Seeing Shiqi in a bit. (:

Roar.

2009-12-04T23:47:00.004+08:00

Numb Potion

I went out with Max today. We watched New Moon. Cut the long story short, it was fun. (:
Guess what? He doesn't know what "TOPSHOP" is :O hahah. Or Superdog. HAHA. He's so funny. (:

If it's a crime to miss somebody you're theoretically not supposed to.
Well, then I'm going to jail.
You can't stop the affection of the heart. It happens.
Memories were woven for a reason.
To reminisce.

2009-12-02T23:50:00.002+08:00

My aphrodisiac is you

My mom got Vodka (Rock Version) for me. (:

Oh golly wasn't I happy, though I'm not a heavy alcoholic.

It's so pretty especially when it's ROCK.

3rd day of work

Today was good. I made a few mistakes here and there. I'm still learning, you know. (:

I can't wait for this girl who is going to work in Fish & Co on monday!! She's so nice I can't wait to be friends with her. (: And what's more, she's my age! I love my age people.

Good news! I got extended! Means I'll be continuing to work in Fish & Co! I sorta passed my training (yay)

Nat treated me to New York New York today after work. I feel kinda guilty cuz he treated me and I feel bad. Don't worry I'm going to treat him back. I feel double guilty for not talking to him as usual. Like I was tired and exhausted, I couldn't be bothered to converse with him. Sorry, Nat.

Surprise surprise

I don't know why people keep thinking I'm dumb! Yes I may not know certain things but I sure know what's going on! I'm not just a seaweed in a river okay! I'm a SHARK! Okay weird illustration but it works just fine. I hate it when everyone thinks "oh mavis knows nothing, mavis is dumb."

Look, if I was THAT dumb, would I even know that I don't know things that you all do?

Fuck it, okay, fuck. it.

I think I know who you may actually like/liked, you know?

I told you, I'm not dumb.

It's midnight and pass my bedtime.

"HI! welcome to Fish & CO!" is stuck in my head.

I kinda acted as a waitress to Juno. I served Juno the menu (which was just a CD case)

Mavis: "HI! WELCOME TO FISH & CO!"

Juno: *stick out tongue*....

Mavis: "Here's the menu (CD CASE). The soup of the day is Clam Chowder.

Juno: *stick out tongue*....

Mavis: "Here's the promotion for today! I highly recommend you Value Treat #2 if you like fish & chips!"

Juno: *stick out tongue*...

Mavis: "okay!"

Is it just me or I'm getting weirder each day? Oh well (:

2009-11-30T20:21:00.004+08:00

Return gift

First day of work

Today was my first day of being a Fish & Co-ian! hahah. Actually they haven't said I passed training, yet. (: But I'm confident I would. Though I have not worked as a waitress before.

My finger bled from tying 10 balloons.

My toe has this bloodclot from the stupid bloody moving object that rolled over my toe.

I felt so welcomed there, really (: Though the manager was pretty fierce. The chefs were mad friendly, so were the staffs! I don't mind working there, actually. :D

Anyhoo, we sent Cassandra off today. (: Stayed up at night till like 3/4 plus? Haha. Dead tired!! I had to lumber myself out of bed this morning. And you know how much I love sleep.

Cassandra Leung you better love me nuts! (:

mumsie just rubbed ginger with ointment on my blood clot. haha I'm wearing super cute socks now. I let you see.

Cute right. (: haha. I have cake! OHMYEMGEE. I love cake. You know I didn't eat for like 6 hrs straight can. All I did was work work work. -.- Korea better have loads of shopping or else I'll be working for nothing!

I hope I'll not quit my job just because I'm lazy to do work.

Go mavis you love Fish & co!!!

You guys must come and eat Fish and Co kay! :)

2009-11-28T17:28:00.003+08:00

New game, new rules.

Hey peeps,

so new layout and all.

I kinda accidentally pressed something I don't know what.

And I kinda lost Abigail's awesome template she did for me long time ago ):

I suck.

Sooo, if you want your blog links or anything linked up,

just click on the 'blahs' word and yeah, write down your link.

Love. (:

2009-11-27T12:57:00.005+08:00

Shoebox memories

Some things are visible only through faith.

One of those 'some things' is Friendship.

After an event or a day out with your girlfriends or chums,

it becomes a memory the very next minutes it ends.

Sure you'd want to make the memory last.

That's why we take photos, isn't it?

To reminisce on the past; the good as well as the bad.

For me, I prefer the good.

This isn't a polaroid picture but it's the 4 of us. (:

Fionella, me, jaslyn and edna.

My lovabees.

My crazyaye shiqi.

HAHA.

She is my so far longest best fleng.

So, she definitely mean something to me.

Something significant. (:

This is my godmother! I love her, a lot.

She reminds me of Mother Theresa.

Cuz she really acts and cares like her.

Prompy pictures.

Here are my super cuties. (:

Everyone looked so gorgeous that night!

especially Hweemay who won Prom Queen yo!

I felt so happy beside her! HAHA.

Yes, I had a great time in prom.

Obsession

Look at this baby isn't he gorgeous?

You know I'm going to get it right?

I had my money on and wanted to buy it there and then, BUT

OUT OF BLOODY STOCK.

And it restocks in 3 weeks time.

See how my baby is well-sought for.

You know, baby is what i call my dog(woof).

So if i call you baby, you know what i mean (:

My impending new headphone is an exception.

3 weeks mavis, only 3 weeks.

There'll be another polaroid picture later, I hope!!!

DAMMAD'S OUTING TODAY! :DDDDDDDDD

We're heading to Island Creamery.

Chitchat and relive the old times.

I cant wait!!

Till then,

2009-11-26T01:16:00.004+08:00

In the prompy mood

Prom was yesterday. It was indelible. Experienced certain events and I'd like to experience it one more time but unfortunately it will definitely not happen again.

I loved how ah ee did my make up and all.

I think I looked different and special (:

I could really say I dared to stand out. Unlike those ordinary girls who just try to be Pretty for Prom.

I don't like oversized boobs. tsktsktsk.

Are there surgeries for boob reduction?

I love my family.

I got a job (yay!)

Training starts next monday and I'll kick off!

I'm going to be a kick-ass waitress!

okay honestly, I really cross my fingers whether I'd make it.

I have a serious attitude when it comes to adults.

GO MAVIS.

Daddykins and mumsie says I need to curb my spending and learn how to save.

I normally live by the day so means, I have no savings.

No savings means.. Whatever.

I like headphones. I saw one that I'm down to buy. It's a MUST.

Bewilderment struck me hard.

2009-11-24T00:14:00.002+08:00

I hate proms. There I said it.

Though I hate proms, I still have to try to look good right. Pfft.

I really have a love/hate relationship with my human banks-my parents.

They give me money, I can spend. But at the same time, I feel so god damn guilty everytime. Though it's really, all the time I get money from them.

50,100 dollars withdrawl.

AH i need to work!

2009-11-23T12:09:00.002+08:00

Flatfeet

I lost Flatfeet last night when I came back from Orchard.

The feeling of losing something so suddenly and the void in my heart just lurks inside such that I know something's missing. I hate that feeling.

It wasn't as if I didn't take care of Flatfeet, I did!

I cleaned it's cage, played with it, talked to it, every bloody thing!

I was taking this whole new chance when Flatfeet suddenly popped into my home to finally commit myself to something, for once.

At the end of the day, Flatfeet's gone. Just like how every other animal went away the moment I wanted to be attached with it.

Cash(my rabbit), Chocky (my ex-puppy) and now Flatfeet.

Urgh, I'm so tired of playing this hide-and-seek game.

It was my fault for not checking it's cage properly; to tighten and secure it.

Touche, people take things for granted. They don't comprehend the object's importance till something is lost. Human nature.

I suck as a pet owner.

2009-11-19T15:36:00.003+08:00

Been going out these few days (uhhh duh). Pretty boring for me already. I did not picture the O level Afterlife to be like this; walking from mall to mall looking for the perfect prompy dress till your legs literally turn jell-ofied. But, the good thing is, I get to eat good stuffzz!

Found a makeshift subway(even better). If you think Subway is good, you haven't met

Quiznos Sub

Awesome shitz yo. Try Zesty Grill! Da shit. Andand! Brocolli(if thats how you spell it) Cheddar soup! Something like Saybons' (: It was goood.

I like the concept of Orchard Central but it's MAJORLY like a maze or labyrinth, what you call that complex paths of finding the exit.

First you reach level 4 and then you go level 2 and you will be like, "WHAT?!?!" Yeah, that was practically how I illustrate Orchard Central to be. (:

But but but! They have good toilets!

So I've been pondering, the pink dress or the black one?

OHOHOH, Juno got sterilized yesterday. I feel for her, really. She kept whimpering when we cleaned her wound. Morbid sight. Tight stitches penetrating through her delicate skin really pains me you know. I never thought I cared this much for her until now.

What if Juno's hyperness isn't going to come back?

I don't want Lazy Juno, I want Hyper Juno who always hits me with her butt.

haha, the funny part is, she gets to where the Cone Of Shame. I'll take a picture next time. (: She looks funny.

Gosh I miss her hyperness already. ):

I shall go change Flatfeet's bed now. I think it's pretty stinking the whole balcony.

I hate Paranormal Activity it still scares the shit outta me every night. ): I hate being a scaredy cat.

2009-11-13T22:36:00.004+08:00

smear mascara

Went to swim on the 12th with the clique. It was awesome, really. Everyone went except Fengyuan :/ So swim swam swim swam till prolly around 5/6?

Clique went to city hall and I beetled off to Orchard to go to Meritus Hotel.

Food was satisfactory, so-so. The prawns were good!

Mom spent 700 bucks on our facial products. Typical mumsie, well yeah.

My face IS kind of screwed up now. I hope this works.

Paranormal Activity

Caught it with my friends. OHMYGOD it was.. Scary. I thought it to be scarier but it was scary enough to make me shiver after it ended. Maybe it was the cold..

On the very same night all I could think of was that movie, really. My sister said i deserved it becuz I already know i'm sucha Scaredy Cat and I foolishly went to watch it. HAHA. Ohwells.

These few days..

have been going out to orchard and all.

KIKKI.K IS MY NEW WOODWOULD.

bought a new pencil case there with Shiqi the other day.

Got a new year planner on Saturday (: I'll TRY to use my notebooks now. Hahah. I love to collect notebooks, so what? Oh, i'm on to 'tin cans' now. Let's just say it's a get-by-time thing. (:

Prolly working in Sentosa soon. I need to money for my Korea trip. This is the disadvantage of not traveling with your parents. ): Limited money. HAHA. I'm quite excited, really! I can't wait to go to Lotte World, the Ski Resort, everything! Best thing is, i'll be sooo close to Leeminho.

I feel like babbling alll my way right here but I feel so restricted. I reckon people will read my posts and assume things. Neither do i want to private it because it's worse. What if the allowed people are the ones I feel like complaining about? How stupid is typing to myself or my closest friends..

Impending Prompy moood

I am SO NOT excited for prom. I really do not like people remarking on other peoples dressings. Like, "OMG look what Fat Tina is wearing, wow she looks like a pink blob!" or "Heather looks so funny like that, the dress she's wearing, is SO old fashioned." kinda statements? Yeah I know it's kind of a 'natural reflex' thing for me too but I hate myself for doing that too.

AND I will not spend more than 200 bucks on prom, I swear. I'd rather spend my money on clothes I'd wear frequently and not something that I'd wear once in a blue moon. I don't care if the dress is branded now, as long as it's pretty, i would look good.

Not all brandy dresses are nice.

Flaw

Sometimes I hate myself for being such a brand-whore. I always think, good clothes are branded. That's why I never go to Far East Plaza or Bugis street all those, I think those places are for Lians, and lians suck. So I would always shop at other boutiques. Miss selfridge, Zara, Topshop, Pull and Bear. Even my bras are branded. I am such a sucker ain't i. I gotta change. And I gotta change fast. Ah I'm not going to tell you guys shit.

Self-recognition is a start. (:

I have lost many friends, losing more doesn't matter. People have their own blemishes, I know. But it needn't take a blemish to truly voice out how you feel. There isn't such a thing as preference in the coterie of friends. I like her,you like me and she likes you, equal.

And that's that.

2009-11-11T23:24:00.003+08:00

Today marks the end of O levels.

Funny, I don't feel good. I thought I could have done better.

I'm not excited for prom either. :/

------

OKAY! O levels ended so I should just partyaye and forget what stupid mistakes I made ya! (:

Swimming at Jurong tomorrow with the clique. Then to Meritus Hotel.

I'm going to do things I had always wished to do:

- SLEEP.

- EAT.

- SHOP.

People said I have grown fatter. ): AH I feel so conscience of my weight nowadays.

I have a hamster now (:

People! Meet Flatfeet.

2009-11-04T20:19:00.003+08:00

There are things that even time can't break.

Hello everyone (: I'm feeling chirpy today. Maybe because today sort of marks the end of my O levels. Well, not really but sorta. I already said sort of. I just have FNN and Science MCQ. And done. (:

Shiqi came to my place yesterday. We played with the mac. (: Here goes..

Oh oh! we went to many worlds!! First we went to

Cold sprouse whatsoever world. (:

Ahhh.. my favourite. I went to Lee min Ho World.

Oh yes, it's real.

Then we went to DINO WORLD! oh-my-em-g.

we took formal shots.

And then we went to unicorn world. (:

Ahhh mystical creature r we!

Then we went to annoy juno.

Look at her priceless face. (:

Overall, yesterday was great, couldn't be better. (:

-------

November 4, today.

Couldn't felt any more nervous. The air around me started to turn scarce and stiff. My lungs were gasping for air; so solid, so impenetrable. I was breathing bricks. I flipped open the page of the paper, first word I darted on "river channel". I smiled in content.

Another blessing of God, what I studied for Geography came out. What I didn't study, didn't come out. (: I really thank Him for what he had done.

Whatever it is, if the results are out and i did badly, I'd still thank Him. For i would have done worse without Him.

2009-11-02T16:35:00.004+08:00

O levels beckons menacingly and the anxiety echos everywhere in school

Hi. It had been a pretty long time since I blogged, no? Inevitably, I was caught up in trying to swim to the surface. What was drowning me? Haha. Needless to say, O levels.

Today was Social Studies and Chemistry. I really feel so blessed during this period. I only studied one and only one theme; globalisation and guess what, globalisation really did came out! I know in my heart that most probably approx 80% globalisation would come out (thanks to many many sources) but the remaining 20% really left me fretful. But ohwell, globalisation came out (:

Chemistry was gooood. The paper was unexpectedly easy, I'd say. I thought it would be difficult because last year's paper was easy. Another blessing from God when I studied the Blast Furnace equations half an hour before the exam and it miraculously came out in the last section.

I love God.

I guess its true, ain't it? God help those who help themselves.

I broke the rosary which my godmother gave to me for confirmation. It isn't just some plain rosary. My godmother specially asked Pope Benedict to bless that rosary. And I stupidly dropped it. Gosh, sometimes I am disgusted by my carelessness. I hope superglue works.

This is another way of how O levels punish people instead of the killing papers. Pimples. Papers, pimples, what's next? Pox?

Till then. Kill the papers, o-victims.

2009-10-16T21:09:00.003+08:00

As we go on, we remember.

I'm not going to fabricate lies and trickery, Graduation wasn't all that good to me. Yeah, I was rather perturbed by the photo up on screen (it wasn't sightly at all). thaha. actually, it was rather to the amusing side. If my ego wasn't that high, I'd be laughing at myself.

On the lighter note, I know that short(untreated) hair does not suit me and I've become well, nicer-looking. (:

I showed sissy and nickwee my photo and they barked into a chorus of laughter. And when I say chorus, I mean different variations of sounds by them. Snorts, chortles, silent-laughs. Yeah. Their laugh lasted for around.. 4 minutes approx? Graduation was better. It was only 10 seconds of mortification. Nothing more, nothing less.

To say the truth, I wished my parents were there. Before they left, I was jumping for joy,ecstatic, glad they were not there. When they weren't there to see me graduate, something in me was missing. Some sort of inexplicable void in my heart. I've realised and realised it well, people do take things for granted. Would I say it's totally human and inevitable, I'll leave you to decide.

Life in Holy High had been a coaster ride. Ups, downs, points of inflections, everything. As I backspace my life in thought, I can really unveil the chapters of what i've done during these 4 years. First day of school was Orientation Camp (i think). First person that enthralled me was minghui. Haha, boy sure was I crazy over him. I still remember how Theresa, Caslin, Veronica and I were good friends. I know theresa then was relatively the Pretty It girl in class. And I still remember how she babbles about some guy she named BumbleBee as his epithet. Good times, I'm sure.

Secondary 2 was where Love came crashing down on me, yup. I was just secondary 2 and I could nobly said I was in love. Immature, huh. Too, that year was when I started to hate people. Thinking back, I was really immature. Evidently, we change through time and hopefully, we become better than who we were.

Secondary 3, I had to start a new life in a new class. Even though it wasn't as difficult as for me than Cassandra, it still crossed that line. Things ended rough between Hweemay and I after Primary 6, it was more challenging to actually seal up that hole. Fortunately, things kicked off well.

Secondary 4, now, I have realised a shred of me still have that immature attribute from 4 years back. Just because of overwhelming exasperation I had towards Gabriel, I broke friendships with him. I thought of mending it back but once I think about negative, I evicted my first intention. My other friends told me I'm being partial for this, thinking of only myself and not him. I guess, some people don't change do they.

During these 4 years, I forged many friendships along the way. What I'm apprehensive about is, will these friendships last? I think they will but part of me says

"Mavis, not all friends last, they move to greener pastures and so will you."

I've figured along my way of ponder, that with every bad friendship you had, a good one will beetle to you. For God has his on way of helping you get back on track. If your friend moved out, let them go. Strapping them back wouldn't do you good nor to them.

Life is like that, isn't it? Unknown.

2009-10-15T23:57:00.004+08:00

Shut up and listen.

You know, either you're in or you're out. There are no in betweens. And i feel i'm hanging by such a thin thread it'll break in no time. It can't weather the storms, at least i think it won't be able to now. But who knows? I am so tired of playing catching up and school's draining me out. Everything else is peripheral now though, all i want to do is get my Os. I've learnt something, you jolly well do well for your exams because at the end of the road, there'll be no one there.

Yes your friends can comfort you till their throats run dry but in the end, you're alone.

I'm pretty enervated. I'll elaborate more on Graduation Night tomorrow (If I have the time to spare).

Just to say a little, I will really miss Holy High. No matter the good or bad, it forged a memory in me and i'm glad it had.

2009-10-14T00:18:00.006+08:00

Hello.

Here's what I did in the past few days (:

We got a Mac.

I'm quite happy about it.

As you can see, we had loads of fun.

Me, Sissy, Juno, Popo, Ana and Mom. (:

I'm pretty lazy to upload everything. So, enjoy the pocket number photos.

Monday blues, tuesday's fart, wednesday, i'm not really sure what is wednesdays epithet.

Anyhow, I watched a show St. Trinians today. Nice, (: loved it, wanna be in it.

I have seriously nothing to say.

Oh, daddykins birthday is tomorrow. Actually, it's today since it's 12.40 am. Happy birthday, pop. You're one year nearer to your dotage. Mmmm, i think you have already reached. (: Thaha, maybe this is the reason why he told the whole family, "DON'T WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

I was thinking, "like, please. what makes you think we wanna?" HAHAH.

It was just a thought, just a thought.

I'll tell you a secret today. Since i don't really like to keep secrets. (:

I've.. Not bathed since morning. I didn't wash my hair for around.. 1 1/2 days (: I'm morphing into a malodorous witch! Haha, no i'm just rioting against clean girls. Divergence is what i strive for (: HAHA. Kidding kidding. Alrighty, I shall go bathe now.

Toodles, posh totties.

[edited]

Ohoh! should i order Macdonalds now? I'm feeling really hungry. I think i should! Fleng flies fleng flies i want some fleng flies. hungbogus hungbogus i love hungbogus.